Classic Poem

ON READING HIS LINES ENTITLED " TEAMSTER JIM. "

You struck right at the moral, Bob, a shoulder-hitting blow,
And knocked the stuffin' squarely out of twaddlin' " 'Ostler Joe. "
You opened Truth's dividers wide, and drew a decent rim
Around ten thousand hearth-stones like that of " Teamster Jim. "

You got us all excited, Bob: we sat and braced our feet,
Just wondering what would happen next unto the great elite,
Who know the line exactly where people shouldn't gush,
And carry fans convenient in case they need to blush.

I wish you could have seen us, Bob, all waiting to be shocked,
With eyebrows slightly lifted and proud lips closely locked,
As the reader gave the title, version-thirdly of the kind
That squeezes out love's sweetness and hankers for the rind.

The first and second stanzas showed you on the proper track,
To harrow up our feelings on the sentimental rack;
The third one had 'em married, and we saw you knew the rules
When you introduced the Teamster with his four Kentucky mules.

Then the plot began to thicken, all was happiness and glee,
And a darling precious baby cooed and played on Maggie's knee.
Every day brought richer blessings, sweeter than the day before,
And the lilacs shed their fragrance over " Jim the Teamster's " door.

Then you should have heard a twitter from a group with shoulders bared,
That the public had " some feelings " which they thought were better spared;
But a cruel cynic muttered: " While " full-dress" is all the go,
I don't see the 'arm of whimpering over " Jim" or " 'Ostler Joe." "

Then we got excited, Robert, as the end was drawing near,
When Jim or Maggie, or the mules, would get up on their ear;
For we thought that you were " holding " just to take another trick,
As you brought the little children a-piling in so thick.

Well, it was a curious picture in that mansion on the hill,
And we somehow heard " Jim " praying, for the room was very still;
Then from out the silence stealing came an old familiar air:
Was it Maggie, or the angels, in the cottage over there?

And so we sat and waited for the shocking to begin;
But there wasn't room for blushes, or a place to put them in —
Till at length it dawned upon us we had all been richly sold:
We were looking out for copper, and we struck a mine of gold.