DEDICATED TO ALL THE WIVES WHO REFORM THEIR HUSBANDS WITH
THE SPELL OF LOVE


I ONCE was a jovial chap, social and happy,
Wha lo'ed wi' a cronie to sit ower the drappie;
Though I seldom got fu' — I'll no tell a fib —
There was whiles I gaed hame wi' a bowse in my jib

My mither said, " Laddie, I think ye maun marry —
There's Elspet M'Tavish and Kirsty M'Quarry;
Ye ha'e slipp'd frae my hands; gin ye had ane o'they,
She aiblins could guide ye the gait ye should gae "

I lauched and said, " Mither, I'll no wed wi' either,
Though Kirsty's a han' ane could trust wi' a tether;
'Tis ne'er for a wife tae auld Clootie sae sib
I'd barter the pleasure o' bowsing my jib

" A bee has a sting aye although it has honey,
And Elspet a tongue has although she has money;
And a wee bird has whispered 't wad tak' a bit stell
Tae mak' a' the drappies she tipples hersel' "

She shook her auld head, and she groaned and lamentit,
And vowed that the day wad come when I'd repent it,
And syne fleeched as vain that the apron and bib
I wad wear, and gi'e over the bowsing my jib

'Mang a band o' fair maidens, wi' frolic and laughin',
In a bonnie May gloamin' sae lichtsomely daffin',
I saw a young fay wi' the grace o' a fawn,
And a beauty as soft as the licht o' the dawn

I dreamed a' the nicht as I lay on my pillow
O' her bricht, laughin' een that were blue as the billow;
And I vowed if I got the sweet fay for a rib
I'd ne'er again seek tae gang bowsing my jib

I coorted her lang, for sae firm was my lassie
'Gainst wedding wi' ane who lo'ed goblet and tassie;
Syne I pledged her my word, if my lot she wad share,
For her sake that the apron and bib I wad wear

She cam' tae my hame wi' her love's gowden dower,
And my life has been ae dream o'bliss since that hour;
My wifie's noo rocking a white-covered crib,
And I never seek tae gang bowsing my jib