Classic Poem

In a dream we quarrelled, the Kaiser and I,
'Twas a dream, which my only defence is,
For nobody surely would dare to browbeat
A prince, in his waking senses.

It is only in dream, the ideal realm,
That the German has courage to utter
The German thoughts which, awake, his heart
Is afraid to so much as mutter.

We were driving along by a forest whose trees
Were so uncompromisingly real.
With their sturdy trunks and their barren boughs,
That they checked further flights ideal.

The oaks were reproachfully shaking their heads,
The birches were nodding, “Fie, fie! sir.”
And moved by sudden remorse I exclaimed,
“Forgive me, beloved Kaiser!

“Forget, Barbarossa, my violent speech;
I admit that your way is wiser;
I am only a reckless, impatient fool:
Come quickly, O my Kaiser!

“If you won't have the guillotine, stick to the sword
For the necks of the nobles who stumble.
Keep the hangman's rope for the burgess who slips,
And for Hans in his smock-frock humble.

“If you'll only reverse the order at times,
We will change our views to meet yours;
Now and then hang the knight and the burgess behead;
Remember, we're all God's creatures.

“Let the criminal court of Charles the Fifth
Resume its grim vocation;
Rail off and classify folk by guild
And order and corporation.

“Restore the Holy Roman realm
In entirety, and encumber
The land with its obfuscated trash
And musty-fusty lumber.

“To endure the mediæval facts
I fancy I might nerve me;
But from this wretched mongrel thing
Heaven in its grace preserve me!—

“This pedantic revival of chivalrous times,
That such a nauseous dish is
Of Gothic delusion and modern pose—
That neither flesh nor fish is.

“Shut up the theatres; clear the boards
Of those antics, with their mumming
Who parody thus an age gone by.
O Kaiser, speed your coming!”