Classic Poem

Now when, beneath the riotous drinking,
The witches found the liquor sinking
So low their ladles couldn't reach it,
The blacksmith with a blazing larynx
Organized a swordfish phalanx
And charged the cauldron plate to breach it.
Back from its copper flanks they fell,
The smith had done his work too well.

A GREEK :

From such a race of myrmidons
Our heroes and our Marathons.

FABIUS MAXIMUS :

It's but the fury of despair.

A FRENCH GENERAL :

Magnifique! mais ce n'est pas la guerre.

NAPOLEON :

By some such wild demonic means
My astral promise was undone.

NELSON :

By spirits like to such marines
Trafalgar and the Nile were won.

CARLYLE :

Full ten feet thick that plate was wrought,
And yet those swordfish tried to ram it;
Unthinking fools! I never thought
The sea so full of numskulls, dammit!

SATAN :

Now by my hoof, this recipe
Is worth a million souls to me;
But lo! what mortal creature there
Grins, haunched upon the parapet,
Whose fierce, indomitable stare
I long have dreamed of, but not met?

MARYAN :

Most sovereign and most sulphurous lord!
We, with the help of Cretans, made
This circumambient palisade
Of this great height and strength, to ward
Off such invaders as might mar
Our feast, and then as sentinel —
Chief vigilante out of hell —
We stationed HIM from Zanzibar.

SATAN :

Good! From such audacious seed
Sprang Heaven's finest, fallen breed,
Maryan! Ardath! Lulu!
Try out upon this cat, the brew.