Classic Poem

Do 'ee know a place they call Michaelstow,
Well 'twas there — a bravish long time ago,
A Chrissymas day,
So I've heard say.
The Church congregation, tho' not much to boast
On other occasions, that day was a host.
Mostly women it was, and I'll tell 'ee for why,
To every widow that chanced to come by,
'Pon a Chrissymas day,
There was gived away
A new petticoat,
Never cost 'em a groat.
And every maid,
Young woman, or staid,
And every wife,
So sure as you're life,
Was a widow that day,
With a crape flyaway,
And bound for to go
To Michaelstow,
All on a Chrissymas day.

2

'Twas a wonderful show,
Through the rain or the snow,
How far was no matter,
From down to Kilslatter,
And up to Trewartha,
And down to Polbartha,
From Reskadinnick
And out to Menhinnick.
There was widow Tremaine,
And neighbour Polblane;
And old Mother Craze
And Nancy Polblaze
Was out of their bed;
And blind Betty was led,
And passles of folks that you made sure was dead,
'Twas so long since you'd see'd 'em, was going down the street,
So sprightly as rabbits, so spry 'pon their feet.
From Kehelland, Rosscroggan, Goondurrow and Troon,
From Trejethan, Cojiggus, and down to Polrune,
There was sure to be one
Before service was done,
For 'twas up and go
To Michaelstow,
All on a Chrissymas day.

3

Now 'twas old Granny Grey,
So I've heard 'em say,
Though reg'lar to Chapel
Was strict Church to-day.
" 'Tis all one, " says she,
" You knaw seemin' to me,
A petticoat will warm 'ee exactly the same,
If 'tis church or 'tis chapel, no matter the name.
And if they've a-got
To get rid of the lot,
We ought to be willing to give 'em a lift,
And show a good sperit by taking the gift.
So I feel I must go
To Michaelstow.
All on a Chrissymas day. "

4

But if Granny went she was bound for to find
Somebody or other who would come in to mind
The cooking of dinner — 'Twas sheep's head and ainge —
If that had been all, easy 'nough to arrange,
But there was three puddings, and says Granny Grey,
" Who'll keep the crock stirring while I am away?
Of course, without stirring, the puddin's will stick. "
So the stirring was left to her grandson, boy Dick,
" Now, be a good boy, don't 'ee go for to play,
But keep the crock stirring while Granny's away.
And now I must go
To Michaelstow,
For this is Chrissymas day. "

5

Now over the hearth there hung the black crock,
And poor little Dick stood tip-toe on a block,
And with the big rolling-pin kept it astir,
And meant to keep at it till Granny was there.
Half-an-hour had passed-by the solemn old clock
And Dicky went on astirring the crock,
Till his arms they were aching,
His back was a-breaking.
" I must stop for a minute, " says poor little Dick,
" I'll stir 'em again before they can stick. "
And then from deep down in the valley below
Came the peal of the bells from Michaelstow,
All on a Chrissymas day.

6

Now Dick had no sooner stepped down on the floor
When up came Bill Quintrell who lived in next door.
" 'Ere come and play marbles, you're allowed to to-day,"
Says Billy. But Dick he says, " No, I can't stay. "
" Aw, come for one game, twent take 'ee a minute. "
" One game then, " says Dick, making sure he would win it.
The first game Dick lost, " Well, come then, one more, "
Says Dick, and the games went on till 'twas four,
And then came a wrangle and almost a fight,
And they stopped a bit longer to make it all right,
While the noisy old jackdaws was goin' to and fro
About the grey tower of Michaelstow,
All on a Chrissymas day.

7

Then all of a sudden came back to Dick's mind
The thought of the dinner that he'd left behind.
And in at the door
And over the floor
And up on the block
He looked into the crock —
Aw! what was this ghastly old thing that he found!
That horrible head was going slowly around!
The stare of those sockets was awful to view!
The thing was alive! oh, what could he do!
Two puddings was gone!
And the thing hurried on,
While that pudding it fled
From the horrible head!
Poor Dick couldn't stay,
He must hurry away,
And down he must go
To Michaelstow,
All on a Chrissymas day.

8

Now the parson was old, and his teeth they was gone,
And his eyes they was dim, and he couldn't get on
In a hurry you see;
For what it might be
That he wrote he couldn't always make out,
And nobody else knew what 'twas about —
And the thoughts of they sinners
Was home with their dinners;
And with petticoats waitin'
'Twas no good his pratin';
And many was snoring,
While the wind it was roaring,
And a shower of rain
Beat on each window-pane,
And here and there clung the patches of snow
On the grey church tower of Michaelstow,
All on a Chrissymas day.

9

Then all of a sudden came a burst and a bang
The great iron handle it shook with a clang.
The people woke up at the sound of the din
And frightened turned round: then Dicky came in.
He was all of a-tremble from head to feet,
His hands stretched out and his face like a sheet;
And poor little Dick, he looked round in dismay,
Till up in a corner he saw Granny Gray.
Then came a great cry,
" Aw Granny! Aw my!
That head he have eat two puddens a'ready,
And there's he's going round so cruel and steady,
And his ghastly old eyes 'pon the other is set,
If you don't make haste home that one will be eat! "

*****

And that's all I know
Of Michaelstow,
All on a Chrissymas day.