Classic Poem

O muse assist me while I sing,
In poetry and rhyme;
The deeds and exploits of a class,
The greatest of its time.

The greatest, yes the greatest,
That has trodden A. U. ground;
The equal of which never has,
And never will be found.

So long as old A.U. shall stand,
May it forever more;
You shall always hear the praises,
Of the class of '94.

To tell the separate virtues,
Of each one of this band;
Would take more time and paper,
Than I have now at hand.

So I'll simply call the name of each
And very briefly tell;
The noble traits of character,
For which he's known so well.

There is our calculator,
For mathematics fame,
He's known throughout the world abroad,
" Old Newton " is his name.

He calculates the weight of worlds,
He can calculate the time;
'Twould take to teach an elephant,
A greasy pole to climb.

An electric engineer he is,
But 'twas a funny sight,
To see him once try to blow out,
An incandescent light.

There's Coffea of judicial fame,
He has much brain 'tis said;
I think you would conclude the same,
By looking at his head.

He makes new friends yes every week,
And walks them down the street,
Invites them in a restaurant,
And makes them stand the treat.

But he's the " ONLY " in the class,
He's always " up to snuff " ;
But do not let him scare you,
For he's mighty on the bluff.

Then next comes cowboy Hodges,
He is one of the " best " ;
When first he came among us
He was a terror from the West.

A sixteen shooter in his belt,
A razor in his hand;
He looked the very leader,
Of some hostile Texas band.

But now he's softening down a bit,
I think that it is due;
To a maiden who lives across the bridge,
Yes I'm sure that's true.

Old Gamma, one of Africa's sons,
He's planning what is right;
To go back to his native land,
And take the gospel light.

This is no joke, 'tis very true,
He can't plain English speak;
But he's away up " out of sight, "
When it comes to getting Greek.

Of evangelic turn is Strip,
The day is not so far;
When he'll be known thro' out the land,
As a pulpit orator.

Sam Jones will be no circumstance,
Sam Small will be quite small;
Stripling will loom up like a tower,
The greatest of them all.

He'll preach from East to Golden Gate,
From Great Lakes to the Gulf;
There's only one thing bad he'll do,
He will buy goods from Wolfe.

There's Howard known to baseball time,
As, First Base King, you know,
And when it comes to playing there
He's nothing very slow.

He's Grace itself upon the bag,
And handles with all ease;
The swiftest ball that you might throw,
As though 'twere made of cheese.

And " Fesser Ben, " the brilliant
Who gets lessons without toil;
Through every night till half past two,
He burns the midnight oil.

The " Fesser " he is quite sedate,
'Tis in his line you know,
To go about so dignified,
And walk so very slow.

Now comes along old Parson Jack,
That's not his name by far;
Because I think before he'll preach,
He'll run a little bar.

Why he is called the Parson,
Is a puzzle still to me;
For Jack he says he'll never preach,
He'll swear it on his " B. "

There's Towns who wears the pompadour,
An orator he'll rise;
See with what case he pocketed,
The famous Quiz Club prize.

And when it comes to catching ball,
There are no flies on him;
He stands behind the bat and says,
" Just let them come on Jim. "

He holds down " Jim's most deadly curves "
The in shoot and the rise;
With ease and grace that certainly,
Would cause you some surprise.

Lastly, but not least comes Dr. Nat,
Of fluent tongue he is;
Although to the surprise of all,
He got left on the " Quiz. "

The Dr. is quietly learned,
I really think he knows;
The quickest and the safest cure,
For bleeding of the nose.

Now when it comes to talking,
The Dr. is not " slow " ;
When conversation lulls with him,
The rest had better go.

He'll talk about the weather,
He'll ask, where will it rain;
He'll ask you that just twenty times
Then ask you once again.

But, he'll also talk on science,
On literature and art;
Whenever it comes to talking,
He can always have my part.

Now there is one I will not name,
Pen cannot him describe;
He hopes he'll ne'er forgotten be,
He is your humble scribe.