Classic Poem

Ye jolly Yankee gentlemen, who live at home in case,
How little do ye think upon the dangers of the seas!
The winds and waves, the whales and sharks, you've heard of long ago,
But there are things much worse than these, as presently I'll show.
If you're a true-bred Union man, go joyful where you please;
Beneath the glorious Stars and Stripes cross safe the stormy seas:
But look out for San Jacintos that may catch you on your way,
If you're acting as Commissioner for the noble C. S. A.

And now you'll guess my subject, and what my song's about;
But I'd not have put them into rhyme, if they had n't first put out;
For they put out of Charleston, when the night was drear and dark,
And then they put out all the lights, that they might not be a mark;
And then they did put out to sea (though here there seems a hitch,
For what could they expect to see when the night was black as pitch?),
But they somehow 'scaped the Union ships, and hoped on some fine day
To land in Europe and to " blow " about the C .S. A.

They safely got to Cuba and landed in Havana;
Described the power and glory of New Orleans and Savannah;
Declared that running the blockade was a thing by no means hard,
And boasted of the vic'tries won by their valiant Beauregard;
Davis's skill in government could never be surpassed —
The amazing strokes of genius by which he cash amassed;
Foreign bankers would acknowledge, ere a month had passed away,
That the true financial paradise was in the C. S. A.
. . . . . . . .

Some days are passed, and pleasantly, upon Bermuda's Isle,
The sun is shining bright and fair, and nature seems to smile;
The breezes moved the British flag that flattered o'er the Trent,
And the ripples rose to lave her sides, as proudly on she went.
Mason and Slidell, on deck, thought all their dangers past,
And poked each other's ribs and laughed, as they leant against the mast:
" Have n't the Yankees just been done uncommonly nice, eh?
They've got most money, but the brains are in the C. S. A.! "

You have heard the ancient proverb, and, though old, it's very good.
Which hints " it's better not to crow until you've left the wood. "
And so it proved with these two gents; for at that moment — souse!
A cannon-shot fell splash across the steamer's bows.
The San Jacinto came up close, and though rather rude, 't is true,
Good Wilkes he hailed the Trent and said, " I'll thank you to heave to;
If you don't give up two rascals, I must blow you right away.
Mason and Slidell they're named, and they're from the C.S.A. "

The British captain raged and swore; but then what could he do?
It scarcely would be worth his while to be blown up, he knew;
Wilkes's marines, with bayonets fixed, were standing on the Trent,
So he gave up the traitors, and o'er the side they went.
Wilkes, having got them, wished they'd feel pleasant and at home,
So offered his best cabins, if their ladies chose to come;
But they shook their heads and merely smiled, I'm sorry for to say.
Conjugality 's at a discount down in the C.S.A.

They coolly said unto their lords, " Our dresses all are new;
What on earth would be the use of going back with you?
And though we're very sorry that your plans are undone,
We mean to pass the winter in Paris and in London.
'Stead of bothering you, and sharing your prison beds and fetters,
We'll write each mail from Europe the most delightful letters;
Tell you of all we've done and seen, at party, ball, or play,
To cheer your hearts, poor martyrs, to cotton and C.S.A. "

So the two vessels parted; the San Jacinto went
To unload her precious cargo, while the captain of the Trent,
Having lost a (probable) douceur rip,
We presume, for consolation, retired and took a nip.
The ladies talked of the affair less with a tear than smile;
Their lords and masters took their way to Warren's Fort the while;
And gratis lodged and boarded there, they may think for many a day
That brains are sometimes northward found as well's in C. S. A.