C HANG and Eng were gallant twins
Discovered in Siam,
And Eng grew up at Sabbath school,
While Chang he loved a slam;
A gristly rivet joined the twain,
The which would not unscrew,
So pious Eng was always slain
When Chang got on a slew.

In politics Eng was a Whig,
And Chang a Democrat,
And when they held an argument
It ended in a spat,
And often when the vote was slick,
And both sides scored a brother,
'Twas thought throughout the bailiwick,
They must contest each other.

Poor Eng he loved a Quaker maid
Who would not roost with Changy,
Because he came to bed so drunk
And said his prayers so slangy;
They compromised, and took a pair,
And lived in great dejection, —
The brothers wanted a divorce,
The sisters a dissection.

And Eng he loved to sing a hymn,
And Chang to fight a chicken;
Whenever Eng exhorted Chang
He got a martyr's lickin';
If in the church Eng led his class
'Twould make an angel kick up,
To see the one with unction pray,
And t'other sleep and hiccup.

They called a hundred surgeons in
To pass the righteous sentence,
If 'twould be safe to take a knife
And cut their own acquaintance.
The Doctors of their hyphen felt
And came to this solution:
'Twas an action 'twixt the Little Belt
And the navel Constitution.

At last Chang would not sleep at all,
So much he was a soaker,
And kept his brother sitting up
To while him at draw poker;
And when he died the wretch remarked:
" The Lord must raise our bodies —
And I shall have all Eng's reward,
And likewise all those toddies. "

The ladies sold the frail remains
To serve a human mission;
The Doctors beat Sir Barnum out
And gave an exhibition;
They found the belt a derrick was,
Two sacks — one thin, one thicker —
And Eng had had to brace the beam,
While Chang contained the liquor.