Classic Poem

Would you that Delville I describe?
Believe me, Sir, I will not gibe;
For who would be satirical
Upon a thing so very small?

You scarce upon the borders enter,
Before you're at the very center.
A single crow can make it night,
When o'er your farm she takes her flight;
Yet, in this narrow compass, we
Observe a vast variety;
Both walks, walls, meadows and parterres,
Windows and doors, and rooms and stairs,
And hills and dales, and woods and fields,
And hay and grass and corn, it yields;
All to your haggard brought so cheap in,
Without the mowing or the reaping —
A razor, though to say't I'm loath,
Would shave you and your meadows both.

Though small's the farm, yet here's a house
Full large to entertain a mouse;
But where a rat is dreaded more
Than savage Caledonian boar;
For, if it's entered by a rat,
There is no room to bring a cat.

A little rivulet seems to steal
Down through a thing you call a vale,
Like tears adown a wrinkled cheek,
Like rain along a blade of leek;
And this you call your sweat meander,
Which might be sucked up by a gander,
Could he but force his nether bill
To scoop the channel of the rill.
For sure you'd make a mighty clutter,
Were it as big as city gutter.

Next come I to your kitchen garden,
Where one poor mouse would fare but hard in;
And round this garden is a walk
No longer than a tailor's chalk;
Thus I compare what space is in it,
A snail creeps round it in a minute.
One lettuce makes a shift to squeeze
Up through the tuft you call your trees,
And once a year a single rose
Peeps from the bud, but never blows;
In vain then you expect its bloom!
It cannot blow for want of room.

In short, in all your boasted seat,
There's nothing but yourself that's great.