Attend all ye who love the play and to the theatre go,
I sing a theatre's history that stands in Bunkum row,
How on one famous boxing night to suffocation cramm'd
The people paying for the pit were in the boxes ramm'd
'Tis getting near to eight o'clock, a thick crowd outside roars
And with increased impatience waits the opening of the doors
At last the doors are open flung and through the people rush
And some are almost squeezed to death, tremendous is the crush.
The shillings and the sixpences are banged upon the board,
They've hardly time to throw them down “Move on!” the back ones roared
They rush to get the nearest seats in hope to see the fun
And up the gallery steps like mad the shouting people run.
The gallery's already full and almost coming down
So great a cram had ne'er before been seen in any town
The pit and boxes they are full, as full as they can pack
And the bobbies now bring out their staves to keep the people back
And many a hat about the floor beneath their feet was trod
But the owners of them didn't care and struck up “Tommy Dodd”.
At last the curtain rises up and “Hats off” is the cry
And at the sight the actors turn and whisper “Oh my eye”
But still they stamp and shout hurrah as loud as they can bawl
And half the people didn't know the play'd begun at all.
In vain the actors raise their voice in hopes of being heard
In vain the orchestra struck up “I would I were a bird”
But still they stamp and shout behind, the blackguards of the town
And the thunders of the audience nearly brought the gallery down.
Once more the curtain rises and at last for good it fell,
And with thankful hearts the audience bid the house that night, farewell
And often will the people who arrived at home all right
Tell all the tortures they endured on that eventful night.
I sing a theatre's history that stands in Bunkum row,
How on one famous boxing night to suffocation cramm'd
The people paying for the pit were in the boxes ramm'd
'Tis getting near to eight o'clock, a thick crowd outside roars
And with increased impatience waits the opening of the doors
At last the doors are open flung and through the people rush
And some are almost squeezed to death, tremendous is the crush.
The shillings and the sixpences are banged upon the board,
They've hardly time to throw them down “Move on!” the back ones roared
They rush to get the nearest seats in hope to see the fun
And up the gallery steps like mad the shouting people run.
The gallery's already full and almost coming down
So great a cram had ne'er before been seen in any town
The pit and boxes they are full, as full as they can pack
And the bobbies now bring out their staves to keep the people back
And many a hat about the floor beneath their feet was trod
But the owners of them didn't care and struck up “Tommy Dodd”.
At last the curtain rises up and “Hats off” is the cry
And at the sight the actors turn and whisper “Oh my eye”
But still they stamp and shout hurrah as loud as they can bawl
And half the people didn't know the play'd begun at all.
In vain the actors raise their voice in hopes of being heard
In vain the orchestra struck up “I would I were a bird”
But still they stamp and shout behind, the blackguards of the town
And the thunders of the audience nearly brought the gallery down.
Once more the curtain rises and at last for good it fell,
And with thankful hearts the audience bid the house that night, farewell
And often will the people who arrived at home all right
Tell all the tortures they endured on that eventful night.