Classic Poem

I once saw a gentleman wallop his wife;
I've heard a girl holler " You brute! "
I've heard a non-poet say something was " rife, "
And I once knew a child who was " cute. "
I once heard a humorist say something subtler
Than what he wrote down on a page;
But I've never heard one philosophical butler
Except on the stage.

I've heard an articulate guard on the L;
And a negro who couldn't play tunes;
I once saw an audience silent at " Hell! "
And not even giggle at " Prunes. "
I once knew a lady but honorable bettor,
And a girl who would not tell her age;
But I never saw anyone crumple a letter
Except on the stage.

I once saw a gentleman wallop his wife;
I've heard a girl holler " You brute! "
I've heard a non-poet say something was " rife, "
And I once knew a child who was " cute. "
I once heard a humorist say something subtler
Than what he wrote down on a page;
But I've never heard one philosophical butler
Except on the stage.

I've heard an articulate guard on the L;
And a negro who couldn't play tunes;
I once saw an audience silent at " Hell! "
And not even giggle at " Prunes. "
I once knew a lady but honorable bettor,
And a girl who would not tell her age;
But I never saw anyone crumple a letter
Except on the stage.