A Dream
Back again, darling? O day of delight!
How I have longed for you, morning and night!
Watched for you, pined for you, all the days through,
Craving no boon and no blessing but you, —
Prayed for you, plead for you, sought you in vain,
Striving forever to find you again, —
Counting all anguish as naught, if I might
Clasp you again as I clasp you to-night!
O, I have sorrowed and suffered so much
Since I last answered your lips' loving touch, —
Through the night-watches, in daylight's broad beams,
Anguished by visions and tortured by dreams, —
Dreams so replete with bewildering pain,
Still it is throbbing in heart and in brain:
O, for I dreamed, — keep me close to your side,
Darling, O darling! — I dreamed you had died!
Dreamed that I stood by your pillow, and heard
From your pale lips love's last half-uttered word;
And by the light of the May-morning skies
Watched your face whiten, and saw your dear eyes
Gazing far into the Wonderful Land;
Felt your fond fingers grow cold in my hand; —
" Darling, " you whispered, " My darling! " you said
Faintly, so faintly, — and then you were dead!
O the dark hours when I knelt by your grave,
Calling upon you to love and to save, —
Pleading in vain for a sign or a word
Only to tell me you listened and heard, —
Only to say you remembered and knew
How all my soul was in anguish for you;
Bitter, despairing, the tears that I shed,
Darling, O darling, because you were dead!
O the black days of your absence, my own!
O to be left in the wide world alone!
Long, with our little one clasped to my breast,
Wandered I, seeking for refuge and rest;
Yet all the world was so careless and cold,
Vainly I sought for a sheltering fold; —
There was no roof and no home for my head,
Darling, O darling, because you were dead!
Yet, in the midst of the darkness and pain,
Darling, I knew I should find you again!
Knew, as the roses know, under the snow,
How the next summer will set them aglow;
So did I always, the dreary days through,
Keep my heart single and sacred to you
As on the beautiful day we were wed,
Darling, O darling, although you were dead!
O the great joy of awaking, to know
I did but dream all that torturing woe!
O the delight, that my searching can trace
Nothing of coldness or change in your face!
Still is your forehead unfurrowed and fair;
None of the gold is lost out of your hair,
None of the light from your dear eyes has fled —
Darling, O how could I dream you were dead?
Now you are here, you will always remain,
Never, O never to leave me again!
How it has vanished, the anguish of years!
Vanished! nay, these are not sorrowful tears, —
Happiness only my cheek has impearled, —
There is no grieving for me in the world;
Dark clouds may threaten, but I have no fear,
Darling, O darling, because you are here!
How I have longed for you, morning and night!
Watched for you, pined for you, all the days through,
Craving no boon and no blessing but you, —
Prayed for you, plead for you, sought you in vain,
Striving forever to find you again, —
Counting all anguish as naught, if I might
Clasp you again as I clasp you to-night!
O, I have sorrowed and suffered so much
Since I last answered your lips' loving touch, —
Through the night-watches, in daylight's broad beams,
Anguished by visions and tortured by dreams, —
Dreams so replete with bewildering pain,
Still it is throbbing in heart and in brain:
O, for I dreamed, — keep me close to your side,
Darling, O darling! — I dreamed you had died!
Dreamed that I stood by your pillow, and heard
From your pale lips love's last half-uttered word;
And by the light of the May-morning skies
Watched your face whiten, and saw your dear eyes
Gazing far into the Wonderful Land;
Felt your fond fingers grow cold in my hand; —
" Darling, " you whispered, " My darling! " you said
Faintly, so faintly, — and then you were dead!
O the dark hours when I knelt by your grave,
Calling upon you to love and to save, —
Pleading in vain for a sign or a word
Only to tell me you listened and heard, —
Only to say you remembered and knew
How all my soul was in anguish for you;
Bitter, despairing, the tears that I shed,
Darling, O darling, because you were dead!
O the black days of your absence, my own!
O to be left in the wide world alone!
Long, with our little one clasped to my breast,
Wandered I, seeking for refuge and rest;
Yet all the world was so careless and cold,
Vainly I sought for a sheltering fold; —
There was no roof and no home for my head,
Darling, O darling, because you were dead!
Yet, in the midst of the darkness and pain,
Darling, I knew I should find you again!
Knew, as the roses know, under the snow,
How the next summer will set them aglow;
So did I always, the dreary days through,
Keep my heart single and sacred to you
As on the beautiful day we were wed,
Darling, O darling, although you were dead!
O the great joy of awaking, to know
I did but dream all that torturing woe!
O the delight, that my searching can trace
Nothing of coldness or change in your face!
Still is your forehead unfurrowed and fair;
None of the gold is lost out of your hair,
None of the light from your dear eyes has fled —
Darling, O how could I dream you were dead?
Now you are here, you will always remain,
Never, O never to leave me again!
How it has vanished, the anguish of years!
Vanished! nay, these are not sorrowful tears, —
Happiness only my cheek has impearled, —
There is no grieving for me in the world;
Dark clouds may threaten, but I have no fear,
Darling, O darling, because you are here!
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