Classic Poem

Some people take an hour to dress;
It can be done in rather less
If you've a valet standing by
To lace your boots, and tie your tie,
To take your braces in a reef,
Put scent upon your handkerchief,
And, when the collar-stud you clasp
Falls from its owner's nerveless grasp
And rolls beneath the wash-hand-stand,
To place a second in your hand!

But if, alas! you chance to be
A member of the bourgeoisie
Whose sole indoor domestic aid
Consists of (say) a parlour-maid,
You cannot, like the haute noblesse ,
Have someone present while you dress.

Yet you can choose your clothes with care:
For instance, 'twould be wrong to wear
A black tail-coat with yellow boots,
White waistcoats with your golfing suits
Or (specially if you're rotund)
Check knickers and a cummerbund!

A sweet disorder in the dress
May suit some poets, I confess,
But personally I admire
A certain neatness of attire;
I hold the very strongest views
About elastic-sided shoes,
While made-up ties and " dickeys " too
Are both of them, of course, taboo!
And collars made of celluloid
Are things you simply must avoid!

A sweet disorder in the dress
May suit some poets, I confess,
But personally I admire
A certain neatness of attire;
I hold the very strongest views
About elastic-sided shoes,
While made-up ties and " dickeys " too
Are both of them, of course, taboo!
And collars made of celluloid
Are things you simply must avoid!

He was arraigned by the police,
And charged with Breeches of the Peace,
A crime he had to expiate
In trousers furnished by the State.