Classic Poem

You have seen (before now) since this Shape-shewing Age,
More Asses than mine , on a Beaucrowded Stage,
Wherefore by th'Example of fam'd
Dogget , my Brother ,
To shew our Stage has Asses , as well as the other ;
Thus mounted I'm come, to invite ye oft hither,
To Beaumont and Fletcher , thus coupled together;
My Facny, his Judgment, my Person, his Face,
With the mighty good Interest he has in this Place;
For indeed , as I'm told , pray let me not wrong ye ,
My Ass has Relations , and Great ones amongye;
In the Calleries , Side-Boxes , on the Stage , in the Pit ,
What's your Critick , your Beau , your Keeper , your Wit ?

 Your fighting Ass is a Bully ,
  Your sneaking Ass is a Cit ;
 Your keeping Ass is a Cully ,
  But your Top , prime Ass , is your Wit .
 They all fool Cit of his Wife .
  He fools 'em all of their Pelf;
 But your Wit 's so damn d an Ass ,
  He only fools himself.
Writing one Play a Year, for a Wit he'd pass,
His lean third Day makes out to him he's an Ass ,
Ben't I an Ass now, thus to mount my Brother ,
But he that's pleas'd with it too, is not he another ?
Are we not Ases a'l (twixt me and you )
To part with our old Money 'till we were sure of new?
Since then so many Asses here abound,
Where an eternal Link of Wit goes round;
No Poet sure will think it a Disgrace ,
To be ally'd to this accomplish'd Ass ,
But he's a Critick , you may read it in his Face .
As for his Courage , truly I can't say much ,
Yet, be might serve for a Trooper among the Dutch ,
Tho of their Side I'm sure he'd never Fight ,
His Passive Obedience shews I'm in the Right .
He's a Courtier , fit to appear before a Queen .
Advance, Bucephalus ! View but his Mien :
Ladies , I'm sure you like his Spruce Behaviour ;
I ne'er knew ought but Asses in your Favour .
Fair Ones , at what I say, take no Offence,
For——
When his Degree a Lover does commence,
You coin an Ass out of a Man of Sense .
Your Beauxs , that soften so your flinty Hearts ,
They are Asses —— Taylors make them Men of Parts .
Now, some have told me, this might give Offence,
That riding my Ass thus, is riding the Audience :
But what of that? The Brother rides the Brother ;
The Son the Father ; we all ride one another .
Then for a Jest , for this Time, let it pass;
For he that takes it ill, I'm sure's an Ass .