Classic Poem

We seem to exist in a hazardous time,
Driftin' along here through space;
Nobody knows just when we begun
Or how fur we 've gone in the race.
Scientists argy we 're shot from the sun,
While others we 're goin' right back,
An' some say we 've allers been here more or less,
An' seem to establish the fact.
O' course 'at's somepin' 'at nobody knows,
As far as I've read or cun see;
An' them as does know all about the hull scheme,
Why, none of 'em never agree.

Now, why I think it 's a perilous time,—
What do we know 'bout them spots
Up there on that glorious orb of the day?
Smart men has argyed an' lots
Of the brainiest folks has been cypherin' out,
An' all sorts of stories has riz
'Bout what the sun 's made of or how it 's composed,
An' lots of 'em think that it is.
O' course 'at 's somepin' 'at nobody knows—
Nobody under the sun;
Nary a body or bein', I s'pose;
Nary a bein' but One.

Take Eva Lution, an' what does she say
'Bout how we all sprung from a ape?
An' there's the goriller and big chimpanzee,
Patterned exactly our shape.
An' I've seen some folks, an' I guess so have you,
An' it ain't none of our bizness neither,
That actually looked like they sprung from a ape,
An' did n't have fur to spring either.
Course 'at 's somepin 'at every one knows;
I do n't see how you folks can doubt it;
S'posin' they have some resemblance to us,
No use in a-writin' about it.

If a feller 'll take a geology book
An' not go a rushin' long through it,
But jes' sort o' figger the thing out hisself—
What I mean is: 'ply hisself to it—
He'll see we've dug up folks ten thousand years old,
Built on a ponderous plan;
Somehow this knocks Mr. Moses all out,
An' Adam, the biblical man.
O' course 'at 's somepin 'at nobody knows,
Nobody under the sun;
Nary a body or bein' I s'pose,
Nary a bein' but One.