Classic Poem

" BY means of dispensations I persuade
The entire world to fall within my grasp;
No prelate can invalidate my power
To hear confession, absolution give,
To everybody, wheresoe'er he's found;
That is, I know of no one but the Pope,
Who on our order made this settlement
That ne'er a priest should dare to criticize
Or grouch against my fellows. Well have I
Shut up their mouths. But they have spied upon
My moves, so I am not so well received
By them as I might wish; for I have tricked
Them all too much. However it may go,
I little care, for I have got the cash
And all the gilding that they hoped to get.
So much I've labored, so much have I preached,
So much they've given me, so much I've grabbed
From foolish men and women everywhere,
That now I lead the jolly life, and scorn
The simpleness of prelates and of priests
Who but too greatly fear my snares and traps.
No one of them can be compared to me,
But none of them can realize this fact.
Thus I bring all about as is my wish
By my dissimulation and my feints.
Although, according to the scripture, each
Should to confession go before a priest
One time a year, before the sacrament
He takes (for this is ordered by the Pope,
Whose statute yet exempts each one of us,
Who go there only if we can deceive),
Much better can we manage the affair,
For we have been allowed a privilege
Relieving them of many a grievous load.
" We never hold our counsel about this
But multiply the powers that the Pope
Has given us, so that a man who's sinned
Can tell the priest as follows, if he likes:
" In this confessional I can assert
That he to whom I have confessed my sins
Has from their consequences freed me quite;
He has absolved me from the vice I knew
Had sullied me. Now 'tis not my intent
To make a new confession, or repeat
The other one; so you can mark me paid
And, howsoe'er you like it, call it quits;
For, though you swore the contrary, I have
No fear of any prelate — any priest —
Who may attempt to force me to confess
Otherwise than as it pleases me.
I have had someone else to whom to plead.
You cannot scare or bother me so much
That I will feel I am compelled to make
Confession twice, unless, indeed, I wish
A twofold absolution to receive.
The first was quite enough for me, so you
The second may as well relinquish now.
I am released, and I may well assert
That you can scarcely free me any more;
For he who has released me is the one
Who is omnipotent o'er every bond.
If you should dare to force me, and I go
To make complaint, no just imperial judge,
Official, king, or prelate would hand down
Against me a decision in the case.
I'll make complaint to no one else besides
My new confessor, who is good. His name's
Not Brother Wolfing, either, and he'll be
Greatly incensed at one who'd call him by
That name, and most impatient he'd remain
Till he'd exacted cruel punishment.
At least he'd exercise his fullest power,
And not for God's own sake would he relax.
" " But Brother Wolf, who eats up everything,
However lucky people were before,
Will dare to swear an oath and shut your mouths,
Well knowing how he may subsist on you;
For he has means by which to get you caught
So that you never can escape from him
Without disgrace and shame, unless you give
Him liberally of your goods and cash.
He will not be so senseless and absurd
As not to have his bulls conveyed from Rome
As summonses to all of you, at will,
To fetch you two days' journey at the cost
Of toil and trouble. Documents so forged
To serve his purpose cover much more ground
Than most authentic, ordinary ones,
And are so ethical that they apply
Never to more than eight persons at once.
Credentials he may show are valueless,
Though they're addressed to those in every place
Who have the power to uphold the law.
But he has for your law no least concern,
He is so powerful in high affairs.
So energetically he'll operate
With you that for no prayer will he desist,
Nor yet for lack of cash, of which he has,
Hidden in his attic, goodly store;
For Property serves as his seneschal
And is in acquisition bright and keen,
And Purchase is his brother by right birth,
Who is not less desirous to acquire,
But rather more, and has amassed great wealth,
By which he mounts so high that he surmounts
All others. May God help me, and Saint James,
If you at Easter do not offer me
The body of Our Lord, I'll leave you flat,
And make you no more trouble; but I'll go
To take the sacrament from him, for I
Out of your jurisdiction can escape
The moment I make up my mind to leave."

" Thus may the one confess who would forsake
His priest; and, if the latter dare object,
I am prepared to bring the priest to trial
And make him lose his church. If folk but knew
Of such confession all the consequence,
No priest would longer have the chance to learn
The consciences of those beneath his charge. "