Classic Poem

Judge Bean's court, knowed near and far,
Was post office, billiard hall, and bar.
Law and justice, whiskey, and wine —
All was noted upon his sign,
And all was dealt with a high old hand
Over this west-of-the-Pecos land.
But Bean, as he swallered his ol' red-eye,
Allowed that expenses was doggoned high,
And so, for impudence, killin', theft,
He laid on fines both right and left.

Once ol' Bart, his right-hand man,
Gallops in as hard as he can,
Bringin' the news of a man shot dead
Down by the Pecos' sandy bed.
" By gobs, Bart, though it's kinder fur,
I reckon I'll go as the coroner! "
Sixteen miles the judge goes lopin',
Sets on the body and says: " Court's open! "
Searches a pocket and finds a gun,
And twenty bucks in another one.

" By gobs, boys, this coroner's court
Finds 'twas an accident cut him short.
And now, as the court of law and order,
West of the Pecos and down to the border.
I fine this corpse, for totin' a gun,
Twenty bucks! And the case is done! "

Under the shade of his spreadin' sign,
Doin' his duty and likin' it fine ,
Ol' Judge Bean, with all his snortin',
Made his court plumb self-supportin'!