Classic Poem

ADDRESSED TO EPICURES .

Les Gourmands.

C EASE to parade your bills of fare;
Cease, cease, ye gluttons; or beware
Lest of offence ye be convicted
By those whose diet is restricted
Fear ye not, too, lest each repast —
Through fit of choking — prove your last?
Truly on such an end there's not much glory cast.
Ah! if choke we must, it were better by half
Not to choke as we stuff, but to choke as we laugh.

With mouths brimful, how can ye dare
To sing of Love, who lives on air?
Your greasy beards — an odious sight —
The very Graces put to flight:
Or else, with truffles vainly plied,
Snoring ye lie at Beauty's side,
Whilst comfort is at times to rounded paunch denied
Ah! if choke we must, it were better by half
Not to choke as we stuff, but to choke as we laugh

Masters of gluttony, ye but raise
Your trophies to the scullion's praise;
And whilst ye scorn the poor, lean bard,
Whose wine is sour, whose crust is hard,
Laurels with you are but in favor
To trim a ham — give sauce a flavor:
How strange, that Frenchmen's taste should thus of madness savor!
Ah! if choke we must, it were better by half
Not to choke as we stuff, but to choke as we laugh

To give each dish the relish due,
All talk at table, pray, eschew:
Strictly forbid all repartee,
In which our sires were wont to see
Such charms — let's have it now no more;
Smart sayings are a downright bore;
Though we, sirs, by your leave, still tell you, as before,
Ah! if laugh we must, it were better by half
Not to choke as we stuff, but to choke as we laugh.

Frenchmen, for our dessert let's dine:
Love's present — Phillis pours the wine —
Pop goes the cork — Wit sparkles brightly —
Even Decency talks somewhat lightly,
And makes not overmuch ado
When Mirth, on fire, would bill and coo —
Come, to the wine of Ai, our songs let us renew!
Ah! if choke we must, it were better by half
Not to choke as we stuff, but to choke as we laugh