Classic Poem

This Infant used to howl and yell
Because he was extremely well.
In bursting health, though very small,
And could not Convalesce at all.

He ate the soap and smelt the drains;
He threw himself in front of trains;
He swallowed nails, that he might come
Into the Convalescent Home.

At length he found a way to win
His purpose; for they put him in
The Mentally Defective Ward
Along with Your Obedient Bard.