Classic Poem

When Silas married Rhody Spence,
Folks thought 'twas kind o' funny;
They argied he was lackin' sense,
Cos she was lackin' money.

But pretty? Bless ye! She was pink
An' plump as any pippin;
An' when she giv' Si' Blois the wink
She sent three others skippin'.

Now, lots o' girls aroun' our place
Had set their caps for Silas,
An' 'twixt his money an' her face
Things seemed to sort o' rile us.

Them was the days when weddin' rings
Was weighed by friends and minions
An' one might cross an angel's wings
Before his neighbor's 'pinions.

They had the infare on the hill—
The house of his Aunt Hanner's.
My! Splendid doin's, dress to kill,
An' all your comp'ny manners!

But Ransom Hunt, says he to me,
“There'll be fun yet 'fore mornin'.”
She'd mittened Ransom, don't ye see?
So he got up a hornin'.

Oh, now dew tell! In all the land
No one blamed Si' fer cursin'.
You'd thought 'twas Satan's cornet band
Was in the yard rehearsin'!

Fer Ransom bought a big sea-shell
Would make a graveyard quiver,
An' Dave, his fish horn, we hear well
When he's daown by the river.

Wes' Pettit beat an old tin pan,
Some boys was caterwaulin',
An' 'Lijah hitched some dogs as ran
With strings o' bells a haulin'.

Then folks inside looked queer, ye know,
An' laughed (behind their noses);
As fer the bride, a squall o' snow
Had settled on her roses.

Si' got his gun an' swore he'd shoot
Until he blowed the end off;
But Hanner cammed him daown real cute,
Said 'twas a fust-rate send-off.

The horners in the yard had see
Si' finger with the trigger,
An' got behind an apple tree,
An' wish't the tree was bigger!

But Silas asked the boys inside—
They made the sweet-cake shiver—
An' Ransom up an' kissed the bride!
My, what a smack he giv' her!

Then all arow, an' han' an' toe,
An' bow low to the fairest;
Across an' back, an' round you go,—
That reel was jest the rarest!

An' then we left 'em to their choice,
An' “wish ye joy,” sez Ransom.
Si' wan't so bad a feller, boys,
Now he just come daown hansum!