Classic Poem

I

The Whole Duty of Firemen

A fireman ought to wipe his feet,
And while at work be nice and neat.
He shouldn't smash the window panes,
Or get the curtains full of stains;
Nor should he try to bust the roof —
A fireman should be more aloof.
When he is done he must be sure
To rearrange the furniture
And things upon the parlor table —
At least as far as he is able.

II

The Iceman

How glad to our sight is the recreant iceman,
When after long waiting he heaves into view.
He says he will call the first thing in the morning,
And comes, if at all, about half after two.
His heart may be kind, but the truth is not in him:
The day is nigh done when he knocks at the door.
He lets in the flies and he gums up the kitchen —
The muddy-shoed iceman who tracks up the floor;

The obdurate iceman, the infamous iceman,
The thrice-accurst iceman who tracks up the floor.
The weather is hot and the icebox is empty;
We wait for the wagon from hour to hour.
The eggs are half addled, the bacon is rancid,
The butter is melted, the cream has gone sour.
He said he'd be sure to be early on Monday,
But when he tramps in it is two, three, or four;
But he wears such a grin that you simply can't cuss him —
The idiot iceman who gums up the floor;
The blithering iceman, the maddening iceman,
The good-natured iceman who tracks up the floor.