Classic Poem

If so the man you are to let the cat
Outside, expect your beer a little flat!
If so the man you are to keep it in
Always, then never worry. You will win!
Should things go slow at first, they're watching you —
To see if you're cat-conscious! If you say boo
To goose or serpent. But keep pussy down,
And out of sight, the finest house in town
Is yours for the asking and you'll be a knight
If you want to be — if the cat is out of sight!
They must see where the bloody cat will jump
All said and done. If with a scandalous bump
Or deftly on all fours. You are the cat
You see, in that connection — a puss to pat
Or to garrot. I'm positive you're that —
I mean the former. If you're up to scratch
No one on you will be a mouldy patch. —
If so the man you are to let the puss
Out of the knapsack, you're a simple goose.
You must know who your enemy is my god
By this time, or you're a very brainless sod!