Classic Poem

Fond woman, which would'st have thy husband die,
And yet complain'st of his great jealousy;
If, swollen with poison, he lay in his last bed,
His body with a sere bark coverèd,
Drawing his breath as thick and short as can
The nimblest crotcheting musician,
Ready with loathsome vomiting to spew
His soul out of one hell into a new,
Made deaf with his poor kindred's howling cries,
Begging with few feigned tears his legacies,
Thou would'st not weep, but jolly and frolic be,
As a slave which tomorrow should be free;
Yet weep'st thou, when thou see'st him hungerly
Swallow his own death, heart's-bane jealousy.
O give him many thanks, he is courteous,
That in suspecting kindly warneth us.
We must not, as we used, flout openly,
In scoffing riddles, his deformity,
Nor at his board together being sat,
With words, nor touch, scarce looks adulterate.
Now when he swollen and pampered with great fare
Sits down and snorts, caged in his basket chair,
Must we usurp his own bed any more,
Nor kiss and play in his house as before.
Now I see many dangers, for that is
His realm, his castle, and his diocese.
But if, as envious men which would revile
Their prince or coin his gold themselves exile
Into another country and do it there,
We play in another house, what should we fear?
There we will scorn his household policies,
His silly plots and pensionary spies,
As the inhabitants of Thames' right side
Do London's mayor, or Germans the Pope's pride.