Your kindness, sir, to me, is really kind; —
Not like the boons of some Calabrian hind
With fulsome zeal that will not be repressed
Forcing his pears upon the sated guest.
" Come, eat them, pray!" — " I've eaten all I would."
" Then pocket what you please." — " You're very good.
Your infant tribe would deem them no bad store.
I'm as obliged as if I took a score."
" Well please yourself; but know, what you decline
Will fall ere night a portion to the swine."
The spendthrift and the fool are so polite,
They give to others what they hate or slight;
And where love's seed is sown with hand so rude,
No wonder if the crop's ingratitude.
Philippus, for his pleadings famed afar,
Alert and bold, returning from the Bar
About the hour of two one sultry day,
And now complaining that the length of way
Grew for his years too much, espied ('tis said)
A smug-faced cit beneath a barber's shed
Paring his nails with easy unconcern; —
Then called his lackey — " Boy, step in and learn
Who this may be — his family — his fame —
Where he resides — and what's his patron's name."
The lad (by name Demetrius) lacked not skill
Or promptness to despatch his master's will.
He flies — returns — informs him in a trice,
'Twas one Vulteius Mena, pure from vice,
Of humble means, by trade an auctioneer,
Who bustled to and fro to raise the gear,
Lounged when his daily toils were at an end,
Was fain to get, but not afraid to spend; —
Mixed with acquaintance of his own degree,
Had a fixed dwelling, and enjoyed with glee
The public shows; or, when his work was done,
In Mars's field at tennis would make one.
" Troth, I should like to know the wight; go, say
I should be glad he'd dine with me to-day."
Mena, the message heard, in mute surprise
Stares, and can scarce believe his ears and eyes;
Begs his devout acknowledgments, — in sum
Feels flattered and obliged, but cannot come.
" How! does the wretch then slight me?" — " Even so,
And through contempt or shyness answers, no."
Next morning, as Philippus strolls along,
He 'spies Vulteius to a tunic'd throng
Vending cheap wares, and having crossed the street,
Makes toward his client and is first to greet.
He, humbly bowing, pleads the ties of trade
And business, that he had not early paid
His compliments; ev'n now, in toils immersed,
Is shocked to think he had not hailed him first.
" On one condition be your pleas allowed —
Dine with me to-day." — " Sir, I shall be proud."
" Enough — you'll come at the ninth hour; till which
Go, ply your trade and labour to be rich."
The hour arrives — he goes — and having said
Some wisdom and some foolery, hies to bed.
Day after day when thus he kindly took
The flattering bait and nibbled round the hook,
A morning dangler now and constant guest;
What time the Latian festival gives rest
To wrangling law-courts, he's invited down
To see his patron's seat not far from town,
Perched in the chaise, he lauds in terms most high
The golden crops, green lawns, and Sabine sky.
Philippus, much diverted all the while,
Sees his scheme work and sees it with a smile,
Resolved with all chance pastime care to drown.
In short, seven thousand sesterces paid down,
With seven more proffered at an easy rate,
Tempt him to buy and farm a snug estate.
Not like the boons of some Calabrian hind
With fulsome zeal that will not be repressed
Forcing his pears upon the sated guest.
" Come, eat them, pray!" — " I've eaten all I would."
" Then pocket what you please." — " You're very good.
Your infant tribe would deem them no bad store.
I'm as obliged as if I took a score."
" Well please yourself; but know, what you decline
Will fall ere night a portion to the swine."
The spendthrift and the fool are so polite,
They give to others what they hate or slight;
And where love's seed is sown with hand so rude,
No wonder if the crop's ingratitude.
Philippus, for his pleadings famed afar,
Alert and bold, returning from the Bar
About the hour of two one sultry day,
And now complaining that the length of way
Grew for his years too much, espied ('tis said)
A smug-faced cit beneath a barber's shed
Paring his nails with easy unconcern; —
Then called his lackey — " Boy, step in and learn
Who this may be — his family — his fame —
Where he resides — and what's his patron's name."
The lad (by name Demetrius) lacked not skill
Or promptness to despatch his master's will.
He flies — returns — informs him in a trice,
'Twas one Vulteius Mena, pure from vice,
Of humble means, by trade an auctioneer,
Who bustled to and fro to raise the gear,
Lounged when his daily toils were at an end,
Was fain to get, but not afraid to spend; —
Mixed with acquaintance of his own degree,
Had a fixed dwelling, and enjoyed with glee
The public shows; or, when his work was done,
In Mars's field at tennis would make one.
" Troth, I should like to know the wight; go, say
I should be glad he'd dine with me to-day."
Mena, the message heard, in mute surprise
Stares, and can scarce believe his ears and eyes;
Begs his devout acknowledgments, — in sum
Feels flattered and obliged, but cannot come.
" How! does the wretch then slight me?" — " Even so,
And through contempt or shyness answers, no."
Next morning, as Philippus strolls along,
He 'spies Vulteius to a tunic'd throng
Vending cheap wares, and having crossed the street,
Makes toward his client and is first to greet.
He, humbly bowing, pleads the ties of trade
And business, that he had not early paid
His compliments; ev'n now, in toils immersed,
Is shocked to think he had not hailed him first.
" On one condition be your pleas allowed —
Dine with me to-day." — " Sir, I shall be proud."
" Enough — you'll come at the ninth hour; till which
Go, ply your trade and labour to be rich."
The hour arrives — he goes — and having said
Some wisdom and some foolery, hies to bed.
Day after day when thus he kindly took
The flattering bait and nibbled round the hook,
A morning dangler now and constant guest;
What time the Latian festival gives rest
To wrangling law-courts, he's invited down
To see his patron's seat not far from town,
Perched in the chaise, he lauds in terms most high
The golden crops, green lawns, and Sabine sky.
Philippus, much diverted all the while,
Sees his scheme work and sees it with a smile,
Resolved with all chance pastime care to drown.
In short, seven thousand sesterces paid down,
With seven more proffered at an easy rate,
Tempt him to buy and farm a snug estate.