Classic Poem

J OSIAH loved Symanthy
And Symanthy loved Josi',
Which you could n't fail to notice
In the rollin' of the eye;
But they never told each other,
On account o' bein' shy,
'Pears to me!

But they kept right on a-lovin'
Jes like any couple would.
Were n't no reason why they should n't,
Ner no reason why they should,
'Cause there wa' n't no p'ints about 'em
Cupid reckoned on as good,
'Pears to me!

Now, this love disease is mortal,
'Cause it tackles mortals so,
An' the oftener you have it
The worse it seems to grow;
More you try to hide the symptoms,
More the symptoms seem to show,
'Pears to me!

Josiah was uneasy
When Symanthy was n't near,
An' he got still more uneasy
Whenever she 'd appear.
But sittin' down beside 'er
Got his joints clean out o' gear,
'Pears to me!

He put his arm behind 'er
An' then he pulled it back
Until Symanthy giggled:
" Guess yer gittin' on the track
By the way yer flusticatin';
Kind a-lookin' fer a smack,
'Pears to me! "

Then Josiah stopped a minute,
Jes consid'rin' how 't would be
An' how best to go about it,
'Cause he had n't much idee;
But he knew 't was waitin' fer him,
By Symanthy's shy te-he!
'Pears to me!

Then Symanthy got pretendin'
She was bitin' off her thumb,
But she was n't — she was waitin'
For whatever chose to come;
While Josiah's tongue kept rollin'
In his cheek, like chewin'-gum,
'Pears to me!

When Josiah was persuaded
That Symanthy would n't shout,
Wa' n't a-jokin', ner a-foolin',
Ner a-fixin' to back out, —
Then he buckled up his courage:
Kissed her cheek or thereabout,
'Pears to me!

Then he asked 'er if she 'd have him,
An' she answered: " What d' ye guess? "
Said he wa' n't no good at guessin',
So she smiled an' snickered: " Yes!
Since I git ye all fer nothin'
I could n't do no less,
'Pears to me! "

When the Squire asked 'em the questions —
On the weddin'-day they set —
Which some people answer quickly
An' about as soon forget, —
Symanthy said: " I reckin! "
An' Josiah said: " You bet! "
'Pears to me!

When they took their weddin' journey
Up an' down the city street,
Josiah told Symanthy
That he guessed they 'd have a treat:
So they went an' got some oysters —
What they never yet had eat,
'Pears to me!

Then Josiah, sort o' thinkin',
Said: " I thought they had a shell;
What they slipp'ry things resemble
I 'll be switched if I can tell;
An' they look so pale an' sickly
Kind o' reckon they ain't well,
'Pears to me! "

" I wonder how they eat 'em? "
Said Symanthy, " How d' I know?
I 've eat everythin' that you have
Ever since you 've been my beau!
But I 'll bet a cent ye dasn't
Put one in an' let 'er go!
'Pears to me! "

While Symanthy eat the crackers
Josiah let one slip;
Said it did n't taste like nothin';
Was n't ripe; then closed his lip;
Vowed he would n't eat another,
Fear 'twould spile his weddin' trip,
'Pears to me!

When the tip-expectin' beggar
Bowed an', smilin' meekly, said:
" Colonel has n't feed the waitah! "
Then Josiah jerked his head —
" You can feed on them 'ere oysters
If the pesky things ain't dead,
'Pears to me! "