Classic Poem

Lectured by Pa and Ma o'er night,
Monday at ten quite vexed and jealous,
Resolved in future to be right,
And never listen to the fellows:
Stitched half a wristband, read the text,
Received a note from Mrs Racket:
I hate that woman, she sat next
All church-time to sweet Captain Clackit.

Tuesday got scolded, did not care,
The toast was cold, 'twas past eleven;
I dreamed the Captain through the air
On Cupid's wings bore me to heaven:
Pouted and dined, dressed, looked divine,
Made an excuse, got Ma to back it;
Went to the play, what joy was mine!
Talked loud and laughed with Captain Clackit.

Wednesday came down no lark so gay,
" The girl's quite altered," said my mother;
Cried Dad, " I recollect the day
When, dearee, thou wert such another":
Danced, drew a landscape, skimmed a play,
In the paper read that widow Fiackit
To Gretna Green had run away,
The forward minx, with Captain Clackit.

Thursday fell sick: " poor soul she'll die";
Five doctors came with lengthened faces;
Each felt my pulse; " ah me," cried I,
" Are these my promised loves and graces?"
Friday grew worse; cried Ma, in pain,
" Our day was fair, heaven do not black it;
Where's your complaint, love?" — " In my brain."
" What shall I give you?" — " Captain Clackit."

Early next morn a nostrum came
Worth all their cordials, balms and spices;
A letter, I had been to blame;
The Captain's truth brought on a crisis.
Sunday, for fear of more delays,
Of a few clothes I made a packet,
And Monday morn stepped in a chaise
And ran away with Captain Clackit.