Hats off to the wife
in an unusual way
she saves my life.

H-A-I-T-C-H T-W-O O-H

the most important vital substance
before one takes their final wink

allowing, enabling, and providing
all creatures great and small plus

all things wise and wonderful

require elements of style
found in a single molecule of water

(H2O) consists of three atoms in total

two hydrogen (H) atoms
and one oxygen (O) atom

held together by polar covalent bonds,
where the oxygen atom
covalently bonded
to two hydrogen atoms,
forming a bent molecular structure.

When the filtered water tastes funky
as discerned by

the misses, I know
without a shadow
of a doubt she must be
a hybrid between being
part catfish - (not only
does she possess up to
175,000+ receptors
covering her entire body,
effectively acting
as "swimming tongue"
to detect food in murky water),
but the product
of some mad scientist,
who concocted
an unnatural pastiche
never seen before organism
with characteristics
of other animals
possessing highly
developed taste senses
including gene snippets
from herbivores like cows
(25,000 buds) and
deoxyribonucleic acid
extracted from pigs
(15,000 buds), which use taste
to identify nutritious
vegetation and avoid toxins.

Her keen sense to detect
even one iota
of accursed deadly bugaboo

within one drop
of water lips and tongue drew
into oral cavity,
she would spit out and
saliva mixed in
with the dollop of water which flew
smack dab into
the face of yours truly
and in a cry and hue
went into a rant and rave
like some half mad Jew

(and any observer unseen
by these myopic eyes
would immediately
(without any rhyme nor reason)
pronounce me loo loo

sent to a mental institution
with a room located in the north-view,
that smelled of stale cigarettes and poo,
but fortunate for me, I carried a canteen
which sloshed with the staff of life
and since dehydration
(linkedin to taking
four glycopyrrolate tabs daily
for palmar hydrosis -
excessive sweating of palms)
occurs when out
and about I review
to maintain lugging along
gallons of purified water
courtesy Culligan
Zero Water filter technology

whose allows, enables
and provides me
to drink liquid
to maintain healthy tissue
(the largest organ of the body)

and strangers stop to stare and view
a searing and robust resident of Xanadu
who keeps on keeping on
as a simian
within the human zoo.