some topics might best
be left unwritten about
no matter such
bodily functions important,
which any anonymous reader
may willingly agree,
and mere moments ago
an aha moment occurred,

when I happened to take a tissue

to my button nose
and blew into the tissue,
and felt a clump
(or wad) of phlegm exit,
which brought immediate relief

and brings to mind one of the most

glorious and heavenly blessings

experienced by this earthling,
and times gone by yours truly
did attempt to communicate
posting poems about the painful ordeal
not able to go to the bathroom
to excrete despite digesting
an entire bottle of Dulcolax liquid,
nursing a bowl of stewed prunes,
nearly (nay - actually)
urinating in my pants
since the once legendary ability
to withhold ready
to explode bladder
to release involves
a coordinated process
where the bladder fills
with urine produced
by the kidneys,
triggers nerve signals
when full (around 150-400 mL),
and causes the brain
to contract the muscular bladder wall
while relaxing the sphincter muscles
allowing, enabling and providing
urine to exit through the urethra

almost as ecstatic after defecating
from feeling constipated,
(which by the way)
also describes the state
of my lower gastrointestinal tract,
yet obviously there exists

something unanimously gross

delineating waste byproducts

that many if not most

living organisms must expel
lest beings perish from
the realm of the living
linkedin to obstruction of toxins,
and now four instances will be cited
when impossible mission
to poop arose -
oh and by the way
common synonyms
for bowel obstruction include
intestinal obstruction, ileus
(especially for non-mechanical issues
like paralytic ileus
or pseudo-obstruction),
volvulus (twisting),
or intussusception (telescoping),
depending on the specific type
and cause of blockage,
with general terms
like "blockage" also used,
and now without further delay
(drum roll please)
to cue specimen number one;
the person known
as the "Balloon Man"
(often identified as J.W.)
had his 9-foot-long mega-colon
on display at the Mütter Museum,
he died in 1892 at age 29
from severe chronic constipation
and bowel obstruction,
with his colon containing
40 pounds of fecal matter,
a condition he endured
known as congenital
aganglionic mega-colon,
or Hirschsprung’s disease,
and occurs when nerve cells
in part of the colon
fail to develop
and make difficult circumstance
for waste to move to the rectum
(aganglionic means
“without nerve cells”;
person number two,
whose sightings still claimed
Elvis Presley, the most famous person
known to have died
while on the toilet,
passing away on August 16, 1977,
at his Graceland home
due to a heart attack
likely caused by straining,
thirdly Lisa Marie Presley (2023):
Died at age 54
from a small bowel obstruction,
a known, long-term,
and rare complication
of bariatric surgery,
and the fourth
and final individual of note
whose demise linkedin
to inability to successfully
exercise two main sphincter muscles,
the internal and external anal sphincters,
are actively involved
in the process of pooping
(defecation) for they control
the passage of stool,
acting together to maintain continence
and allowing for
the voluntary release of waste,
Maurice Gibb (2003):
Passed away at 53
due to a bowel obstruction
called volvulus,
where the intestine twists.