A typo, I decided; otherwise
the well-used website looked as I’d expect –
all red and green and gold and bumper buys,
the two-wheeled little basket icon decked

with tinsel, was it? Jeez. Well, gotta shop.
I clicked Sign in and waited for the screen,
but – what was this? – some sort of quantum hop?
I seemed to have arrived within a scene

from Beauty and the Beast, a formal dance,
but me in trackies – d’oh – oh wait, a gown!
I twirled in rose and cream and caught the glance
of Beast, a hirsute gent with silver crown,

who whispered to me, “May I have this night?”
I nodded and he grabbed me for a kiss
then ravished me with all his moustache might…
the beast experience. The best. Sheer bliss.