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Older married heterosexual Caucasian sexagenarian male...

not overly particular when seeking
to befriend a charismatic, dogmatic,
enigmatic, organic and pragmatic counterpart
to balance the scales against
cut throat, swashbuckling piratical,
("Arrr!", "Aye, aye Captain!" 
and "Yo ho ho!” 
"I can't hear you!")
bombastic, chauvinistic and egocentric
flamboyant, haughty, narcissistic,
misogynistic tyrannical nasty brutes
(hobbling along like some 
hapless Tom, Dick and Harry)
donning the guise of autocratic bullies