Classic Poem

I WROTE at once that " I should be
Most charmed, " and donned my best
Dress diving-suit, — a joy to see, —
And at their club-house 'neath the sea
Arrived at " something after three "
Promptly (unpunctuality Is something I detest).
The President, a mermaid fair,
Sat by a coral table,
And read an essay with an air
Intelligent and able
Upon — but you will never guess
The subject — it was nothing less
Than sunshades and umbrellas .
I really did my very best
To keep from laughing — as their guest.
That it was hard must be confessed
When next the meeting was addressed
On shoes , and which would wear the best —
Tan slippers or prunellas .
Then came (it did look like a joke)
Essays on bonnet, hat , and toque :
Said I, " They must be mocking. "
And when at length a mermaid rose,
And read a thesis to expose
The latest novelty in hose ,
I felt my reason rocking.
But when at last the thing was o'er
And I was back again on shore,
I fell to moralizing.
And as remembrance came to me
Of other clubs not in the sea,
Of essays read by ladies fair
Upon the " why " and " whence " and " where, "
Said I, " It's not surprising. "