Classic Poem

When I die I promise to haunt
all my surviving enemies,
may they be few if any at that point,
because I hope to outlive them all.
But if any of them are left
I'll keep them awake at night with weird noises.
I'll whisper words in their ears while they sleep
to encourage feelings of low self-esteem when they awake.

Actually, I'll never let them sleep.
I'll kick them out of bed
just as they're falling
into deep slumber.

Or maybe I'll just let them be.
Enemies are such a responsibility,
and eat up so much time.

Perhaps I'll just travel,
which I didn't really enjoy
much while alive. I'll travel,
eat fish, listen to rap music
and bluegrass, read a lot
of trade association magazines,
have numerous root canals,
and settle down somewhere in Ohio.

[from The Drift of Things, The Figures Press, 2001]
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