Where is the Grand Duke Ruffanuff, who stole the Czar's first wife?
Who used to shoot and burn and loot,
While all his suite would follow suit,
And never gave a single hoot
For threats upon his life?
He's mandatory of a mule just out of Teheran;
He's working for Bazouk Pasha as second hired man!

Where is Graf von Gipfelstein, that man of noble rank,
Who when he sat at baccarat,
Would bet a million with éclat,
And with rare nonchalance stand pat
Until he broke the bank?
You'll find him down in old Stamboul, if you are passing by,
He's mandatory of the pigs in Izzak-Issik's sty!

Where is Countess von der Schtuff, that ravishing brunette
Whose wiles and arts broke scores of hearts,
Who raided all the jewel marts—
The belle of many foreign parts—
Is she in Europe yet?
Across the Turkish moors she bears a bucket full of corn;
She's mandatory of a cow beside the Golden Horn!