Classic Poem

Or, A Proper new Ballad of certain Carnal Passages betwixt a Quaker and a Colt, at Horsly near Colchester, in Essex.

To the Tune of Tom of Bedlam .

I.

All in the Land of Essex ,
Near Colchester the Zealous,
On the side of a Bank,
Was play'd such a Prank,
As would make a Stone-horse jealous.

II.

Help Woodcock, Fox and Naylor ,
For Brother Green 's a Stallion:
Now alas what hope
Of converting the Pope,
When a Quaker turns Italian?

III.

Even to our whole Profession
A Scandal 'twill be counted,
When 'tis talkt with disdain
Amongst the Profane,
How Brother Green was Mounted.

IV.

And in the Good time of Christmas,
Which though our Saints have damn'd all,
Yet when did they hear
That a damn'd Cavalier
E'er play'd such a Christmas Gambal?

V.

Had thy Flesh, O Green , been Pamper'd
With any Cates unhallow'd,
Hadst thou sweetned thy Gums
With Pottage of Plums,
Or profane minc'd Pie hadst swallow'd:

VI.

Rol'd up in wanton Swine's-flesh,
The Fiend might have crept into thee;
Then fullness of Gut
Might have caus'd thee to Rut,
And the Devil have so Rid through thee.

VII.

But alas he had been feasted
With a Spiritual Collation,
By our frugal Mayor,
Who can Dine on a Prayer,
And sup on an Exhortation.

VIII.

'Twas meer impluse of Spirit,
Though he us'd the Weapon Carnal:
Filly Foal, quoth he,
My Bride thou shalt be:
And how this is Lawful, learn all.

IX.

For if no respect of Persons
Be due 'mongst Sons of Adam ,
In a large extent,
Thereby may be meant
That a Mare 's as good as a Madam .

X.

Then without more Ceremony,
Not Bonnet vail'd, nor kist her,
But took her by Force,
For Better for Worse,
And us'd her like a Sister.

XI.

Now when in such a Saddle
A Saint will needs be Riding,
Though we dare not say
'Tis a falling away,
May there not be some Back-sliding?

XII.

No surely, quoth James Naylor ,
'Twas but an Insurrection
Of the Carnal Part,
For a Quaker in Heart
Can never lose Perfection.

XIII.

For (as our Masters teach us)
The Intent being well Directed,
Though the Devil Trepan
The Adamical Man,
The Saint stands un-infected.

XIV.

But alas a Pagan Jury
Ne'er Judges what's intended;
Then say what we can,
Brother Green 's outward Man
I fear will be suspended.

XV.

And our Adopted Sister
Will find no better quarter,
But when him we inroi
For a Saint, Filly Foal
Shall pass her self for a Martyr.

XVI.

Rome , that Spiritual Sodom ,
No longer is thy debter,
O Colchester , now
Who's Sodom but thou,
Even according to the Letter?