Classic Poem

There's young Smith — he's a wonder for learning;
His attainments are equaled by few;
He has wit that is quick and discerning,
And his judgment is solid and true.
In philosophy, ancient and new,
He knows Zeno as well as Thoreau;
But to call on him hardly would do —
He's a nobody, don't y' know?

He can tell, if to hear you are yearning,
Why the Chinaman first wore a cue;
He has written a treatise on churning
As 'twas practiced in ancient Peru.
Of Sturm's theorem he has the clue,
And can tell you how zoophytes grow;
But I can't introduce him to you —
He's a nobody, don't y' know?

He has published an epic concerning
The exploits of King Brian Boru;
He can tell you where Biela's is burning,
And when Bethlehem's star is next due.
He can sound, like the Swedes can, their " sju, "
And of tongues has a marvelous flow;
But the Wayups his presence eschew —
He's a nobody, don't y' know?

envoy.

And the fellow is big-hearted too,
With a record that's whiter than snow;
But his blood's not sufficiently blue —
He's a nobody, don't y' know?