Classic Poem

I REMEMBER , I remember,
When I was a little Boy,
One fine morning in September
Uncle brought me home a toy

I remember how he patted
Both my cheeks in kindliest mood;
" Then," said he, " you little Fat-head,
There's a top because you're good"

Grandmamma — a shrewd observer —
I remember gazed upon
My new top, and said with fervour,
" Oh! how kind of Uncle John!"

While mamma, my form caressing, —
In her eye the tear-drop stood,
Read me this fine moral lesson,
" See what comes of being good!"

I remember, I remember,
On a wet and windy day,
One cold morning in December,
I stole out and went to play;

I remember Billy Hawkins
Came, and with his pewter squirt
Squibb'd my pantaloons and stockings,
Till they were all over dirt!

To my mother for protection
I ran, quaking every limb:
— She exclaimed, with fond affection,
" Gracious Goodness! look at him! " —

Pa cried, when he saw my garment,
— 'Twas a newly-purchased dress —
" Oh, you nasty little Warment ,
How came you in such a mess?"

Then he caught me by the collar,
— Cruel only to be kind —
And to my exceeding dolour,
Gave me — several slaps behind.

Grandmamma, while yet I smarted,
As she saw my evil plight,
Said — 'twas rather stony-hearted —
" Little rascal! sarve him right!"

I remember, I remember,
From that sad and solemn day,
Never more in dark December
Did I venture out to play.

And the moral which they taught, I
Well remember; thus they said —
" Little Boys, when they are naughty
Must be whipped and sent to bed!"