Pain In a Pleasure Boat
A SEA ECLOGUE .
BOATMAN .
SHOVE off there!—ship the rudder, Bill—cast off! she's under way!
MRS . F.
She's under what?—I hope she's not! good gracious, what a spray!
BOATMAN .
Run out the jib, and rig the boom! keep clear of those two brigs!
MRS . F.
I hope they don't intend some joke by running of their rigs!
BOATMAN .
Bill, shift them bags of ballast aft—she's rather out of trim!
MRS . F.
Great bags of stones! they're pretty things to help a boat to swim!
BOATMAN .
The wind is fresh—if she don't scud, it's not the breeze's fault!
MRS . F.
Wind fresh, indeed, I never felt the air so full of salt!
BOATMAN .
That schooner, Bill, harn't left the roads, with oranges and nuts!
MRS . F.
If seas have roads, they're very rough—I never felt such ruts!
BOATMAN .
It's neap, ye see, she's heavy lade, and couldn't pass the bar.
MRS . F.
The bar! what, roads with turnpikes too? I wonder where they are!
BOATMAN .
Ho! Brig ahoy! hard up! hard up! that lubber cannot steer!
MRS . F.
Yes, yes,—hard up upon a rock! I know some danger's near!
Lord, there's a wave! it's coming in! and roaring like a bull!
BOATMAN .
Nothing, Ma'am, but a little slop! go large, Bill! keep her full!
MRS . F.
What, keep her full! what daring work! when full, she must go down!
BOATMAN .
Why, Bill, it lulls! ease off a bit—it's coming off the town!
Steady your helm! we'll clear the Pint! lay right for yonder pink!
MRS . F.
Be steady—well, I hope they can! but they've got a pint of drink!
BOATMAN .
Bill, give that sheet another haul—she'll fetch it up this reach.
MRS . F.
I'm getting rather pale, I know, and they see it by that speech!
I wonder what it is, now, but——I never felt so queer!
BOATMAN .
Bill, mind your luff—why Bill, I say, she's yawing—keep her near!
MRS . F.
Keep near! we're going further off; the land's behind our backs.
BOATMAN .
Be easy, Ma'am, it's all correct, that's only 'cause we tacks:
We shall have to beat about a bit,—Bill, keep her out to see.
MRS . F.
Beat who about? keep who at sea?—how black they look at me!
BOATMAN .
It's veering round—I knew it would! off with her head! stand by!
MRS . F.
Off with her head! whose? where? what with?—an axe I seem to spy!
BOATMAN .
She can't not keep her own, you see; we shall have to pull her in!
MRS . F.
They'll drown me, and take all I have! my life's not worth a pin!
BOATMAN .
Look out you know, be ready, Bill—just when she takes the sand!
MRS . F.
The sand—O Lord! to stop my mouth! how every thing is planned!
BOATMAN .
The handspike, Bill—quick, bear a hand! now Ma'am, just step ashore!
MRS . F.
What! ain't I going to be killed—and weltered in my gore?
Well, Heaven be praised! but I'll not go a sailing any more!
BOATMAN .
SHOVE off there!—ship the rudder, Bill—cast off! she's under way!
MRS . F.
She's under what?—I hope she's not! good gracious, what a spray!
BOATMAN .
Run out the jib, and rig the boom! keep clear of those two brigs!
MRS . F.
I hope they don't intend some joke by running of their rigs!
BOATMAN .
Bill, shift them bags of ballast aft—she's rather out of trim!
MRS . F.
Great bags of stones! they're pretty things to help a boat to swim!
BOATMAN .
The wind is fresh—if she don't scud, it's not the breeze's fault!
MRS . F.
Wind fresh, indeed, I never felt the air so full of salt!
BOATMAN .
That schooner, Bill, harn't left the roads, with oranges and nuts!
MRS . F.
If seas have roads, they're very rough—I never felt such ruts!
BOATMAN .
It's neap, ye see, she's heavy lade, and couldn't pass the bar.
MRS . F.
The bar! what, roads with turnpikes too? I wonder where they are!
BOATMAN .
Ho! Brig ahoy! hard up! hard up! that lubber cannot steer!
MRS . F.
Yes, yes,—hard up upon a rock! I know some danger's near!
Lord, there's a wave! it's coming in! and roaring like a bull!
BOATMAN .
Nothing, Ma'am, but a little slop! go large, Bill! keep her full!
MRS . F.
What, keep her full! what daring work! when full, she must go down!
BOATMAN .
Why, Bill, it lulls! ease off a bit—it's coming off the town!
Steady your helm! we'll clear the Pint! lay right for yonder pink!
MRS . F.
Be steady—well, I hope they can! but they've got a pint of drink!
BOATMAN .
Bill, give that sheet another haul—she'll fetch it up this reach.
MRS . F.
I'm getting rather pale, I know, and they see it by that speech!
I wonder what it is, now, but——I never felt so queer!
BOATMAN .
Bill, mind your luff—why Bill, I say, she's yawing—keep her near!
MRS . F.
Keep near! we're going further off; the land's behind our backs.
BOATMAN .
Be easy, Ma'am, it's all correct, that's only 'cause we tacks:
We shall have to beat about a bit,—Bill, keep her out to see.
MRS . F.
Beat who about? keep who at sea?—how black they look at me!
BOATMAN .
It's veering round—I knew it would! off with her head! stand by!
MRS . F.
Off with her head! whose? where? what with?—an axe I seem to spy!
BOATMAN .
She can't not keep her own, you see; we shall have to pull her in!
MRS . F.
They'll drown me, and take all I have! my life's not worth a pin!
BOATMAN .
Look out you know, be ready, Bill—just when she takes the sand!
MRS . F.
The sand—O Lord! to stop my mouth! how every thing is planned!
BOATMAN .
The handspike, Bill—quick, bear a hand! now Ma'am, just step ashore!
MRS . F.
What! ain't I going to be killed—and weltered in my gore?
Well, Heaven be praised! but I'll not go a sailing any more!
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