Classic Poem

" Peter is poor, " said noble Paul,
" And I have always been his friend:
And, though my means to give are small,
At least I can afford to lend .
How few, in this cold age of greed,
Do good, except on selfish grounds!
But I can feel for Peter's need,
And I WILL LEND HIM FIFTY POUNDS ! "

How great was Peter's joy to find
His friend in such a genial vein!
How cheerfully the bond he signed,
To pay the money back again!
" We can't, " said Paul, " be too precise:
'Tis best to fix the very day:
So, by a learned friend's advice,
I've made it Noon, the Fourth of May. "

" But this is April! " Peter said.
" The First of April, as I think.
Five little weeks will soon be fled;
One scarcely will have time to wink!
Give me a year to speculate —
To buy and sell — to drive a trade — "
Said Paul, " I cannot change the date.
On May the Fourth it must be paid. "

" Well, well! " said Peter, with a sigh.
" Hand me the cash, and I will go.
I'll form a Joint-Stock Company,
And turn an honest pound or so. "
" I'm grieved, " said Paul, " to seem unkind:
The money shall of course be lent:
But, for a week or two, I find
It will not be convenient. "

So, week by week, poor Peter came
And turned in heaviness away;
For still the answer was the same,
" I cannot manage it to-day. "
And now the April showers were dry —
The five short weeks were nearly spent —
Yet still he got the old reply,
" It is not quite convenient! "

The Fourth arrived, and punctual Paul
Came, with his legal friend, at noon.
" I thought it best, " said he, " to call:
One cannot settle things too soon. "
Poor Peter shuddered in despair:
His flowing locks he wildly tore:
And very soon his yellow hair
Was lying all about the floor.

The legal friend was standing by,
With sudden pity half unmanned:
The tear-drop trembled in his eye,
The signed agreement in his hand:
But when at length the legal soul
Resumed its customary force,
" The Law, " he said, " we can't control:
Pay, or the Law must take its course! "

Said Paul, " How bitterly I rue
That fatal morning when I called!
Consider, Peter, what you do!
You won't be richer when you're bald!
Think you, by rending curls away,
To make your difficulties less?
Forbear this violence, I pray:
You do but add to my distress! "

" Not willingly would I inflict, "
Said Peter, " on that noble heart
One needless pang. Yet why so strict?
Is this to act a friendly part?
However legal it may be
To pay what never has been lent,
This style of business seems to me
Extremely inconvenient!

" No Nobleness of soul have I,
Like some that in this Age are found! "
(Paul blushed in sheer humility,
And cast his eyes upon the ground.)
" This debt will simply swallow all,
And make my life a life of woe! "
" Nay, nay, my Peter! " answered Paul,
" You must not rail on Fortune so!

" You have enough to eat and drink:
You are respected in the world:
And at the barber's, as I think,
You often get your whiskers curled.
Though Nobleness you can't attain —
To any very great extent —
The path of Honesty is plain,
However inconvenient! "

" 'Tis true, " said Peter, " I'm alive:
I keep my station in the world:
Once in the week I just contrive
To get my whiskers oiled and curled.
But my assets are very low:
My little income's overspent:
To trench on capital, you know,
Is always inconvenient! "

" But pay your debts! " cried honest Paul.
" My gentle Peter, pay your debts!
What matter if it swallows all
That you describe as your " assets"?
Already you're an hour behind:
Yet Generosity is best.
It pinches me — but never mind:
I WILL NOT CHARGE YOU INTEREST ! "

" How good! How great! " poor Peter cried.
" Yet I must sell my Sunday wig —
The scarf-pin that has been my pride —
My grand piano — and my pig! "
Full soon his property took wings:
And daily, as each treasure went,
He sighed to find the state of things
Grow less and less convenient.

Weeks grew to months, and months to years:
Peter was worn to skin and bone:
And once he even said, with tears,
" Remember, Paul, that promised Loan! "
Said Paul, " I'll lend you, when I can,
All the spare money I have got —
Ah, Peter, you're a happy man!
Yours is an enviable lot!

" I'm getting stout, as you may see:
It is but seldom I am well:
I cannot feel my ancient glee
In listening to the dinner-bell:
But you, you gambol like a boy,
Your figure is so spare and light:
The dinner-bell's a note of joy
To such a healthy appetite! "

Said Peter, " I am well aware
Mine is a state of happiness:
And yet how gladly could I spare
Some of the comforts I possess!
What you call healthy appetite
I feel as Hunger's savage tooth:
And, when no dinner is in sight,
The dinner-bell's a sound of ruth!

" No scare-crow would accept this coat:
Such boots as these you seldom see.
Ah, Paul, a single five-pound-note
Would make another man of me! "
Said Paul, " It fills me with surprise
To hear you talk in such a tone:
I fear you scarcely realise
The blessings that are all your own!

" You're safe from being overfed:
You're sweetly picturesque in rags:
You never know the aching head
That comes along with money-bags:
And you have time to cultivate
That best of qualities, Content —
For which you'll find your present state
Remarkably convenient! "

Said Peter, " Though I cannot sound
The depths of such a man as you,
Yet in your character I've found
An inconsistency or two.
You seem to have long years to spare
When there's a promise to fulfil:
And yet how punctual you were
In calling with that little bill! "

" One can't be too deliberate, "
Said Paul, " in parting with one's pelf.
With bills, as you correctly state,
I'm punctuality itself.
A man may surely claim his dues:
But, when there's money to be lent ,
A man must be allowed to choose
Such times as are convenient! "

It chanced one day, as Peter sat
Gnawing a crust — his usual meal —
Paul bustled in to have a chat,
And grasped his hand with friendly zeal.
" I knew, " said he, " your frugal ways:
So, that I might not wound your pride
By bringing strangers in to gaze,
I've left my legal friend outside!

" You well remember, I am sure,
When first your wealth began to go,
And people sneered at one so poor,
I never used my Peter so!
And when you'd lost your little all,
And found yourself a thing despised,
I need not ask you to recall
How tenderly I sympathised!

" Then the advice I've poured on you,
So full of wisdom and of wit:
All given gratis, though 'tis true
I might have fairly charged for it!
But I refrain from mentioning
Full many a deed I might relate —
For boasting is a kind of thing
That I particularly hate.

" How vast the total sum appears
Of all the kindnesses I've done,
From Childhood's half-forgotten years
Down to that Loan of April One!
That Fifty Pounds! You little guessed
How deep it drained my slender store:
But there's a heart within this breast,
And I WILL LEND YOU FIFTY MORE ! "

" Not so, " was Peter's mild reply,
His cheeks all wet with grateful tears:
" No man recalls, so well as I,
Your services in bygone years:
And this new offer, I admit,
Is very very kindly meant —
Still, to avail myself of it
Would not be quite convenient! "