Classic Poem

EARLY EIGHTEENTH CENTURY

My very excellent young person,
Since Fate has destined you to play the rôle of coiffeur.
You will permit that I admire your quite unsurpassed skill,
Together with your polished, if a trifle over-pronounced, manners,
Without by an inch lessening the distance
Which the hazard of birth and the artifice of custom
Have placed between us.
My mirror tells me that you are a personable man;
But, indeed, it is my own image in this same mirror
Which most occupies my attention.
That such a subject as I offer
Engages you to put forth your best efforts
Is only natural;
That I should remain indifferent is equally so.
Be satisfied that the exigencies of your profession
Admit you to privileges from which a more exalted station would exclude you.
My maid will, I am sure, be most happy to accommodate herself to your wishes,
She is a worthy girl and entertains a not unjustifiable belief in my continued recognition of her services.
The spray of heliotrope is well placed.
Do you think a patch just here—at the corner of the eye?
Ah, yes. It adds perceptibly.
You are, Sir, a consummate artist.
To-morrow at four I shall expect you.