Classic Poem

Synods are whelps of th' Inquisition ,
A mungrel breed of like pernicion,
And growing up became the Sires
Of Scribes, Commissioners , and Triers ;
Whose bus'ness is, by cunning slight
To cast a figure for mens Light ;
To find in lines of Beard and Face,
The Phisiognomy of Grace ;
And by the sound and twang of Nose ,
If all be sound within disclose,
Free from a crack or flaw of sinning,
As Men try Pipkins by the ringing.
By Black Caps underlaid with White ,
Give certain guess at inward Light ;
Which Serjeants at the Gospel wear,
To make the Spiritual Calling clear .
The Hand[k]erchief about the neck
(Canonical Cravat of Smeck ,
From whom the Institution came
When Church and State they set on flame,
And worn by them as badges then
Of Spiritual Warfaring Men )
Judge rightly if Regeneration
Be of the newest Cut in fashion.
Sure 'tis an Orthodox opinion
That Grace is founded in Dominion .
Great Piety consists in Pride ;
To rule is to be sanctifi'd:
To domineer and to controul
Both o'er the Body and the Soul,
Is the most perfect discipline
Of Church-rule, and by right divine .
Bell and the Dragons Chaplains were
More moderate than these by far:
For they (poor Knaves) were glad to cheat,
To get their Wives and Children Meat:
But these will not be fobb'd off so,
They must have Wealth and Power too,
Or else with blood and desolation,
They'll tear it out o' th' heart o' th' Nation,
Sure these themselves from Primitive
And Heathen Priesthood do derive,
When Butchers were the only Clerks ,
Elders and Presbyters of Kirks ,
Whose Directory was to Kill ;
And some believe it is so still.
The onely diff'rence is, that then
They slaughter'd only Beasts, now Men.
For then to sacrifice a Bullock,
Or now and then a Child to Moloch ,
They count a vile Abomination,
But not to slaughter a whole Nation .
Presbytery does but translate
The Papacy to a Free State ,
A Commonwealth of Popery ,
Where ev'ry Village is a See
As well as Rome , and must maintain
A Tithe Pig Metropolitane:
Where ev'ry Presbyter and Deacon
Commands the Keys for Cheese and Bacon;
And ev'ry Hamlet's governed
By's Holiness , the Church's Head ,
More haughty and severe in's place
Than Gregory and Boniface .
Such Church must (surely) be a Monster
With many heads: for if we conster
What in th' Apocalypse we find,
According to th' Apostles mind,
'Tis that the Whore of Babylon
With many heads did ride upon;
Which Heads denote the sinful Tribe
Of Deacon, Priest, Lay-Elder, Scribe .
Lay-Elder, Simeon to Levi ,
Whose little finger is as heavy
As loins of Patriarchs, Prince-Prelate,
Archbishop-secular. This Zelot
Is of a mungrel, divers kind,
Clerick before, and Lay behind;
A Lawless Linsy-woolsy Brother ,
Half of one Order, half another;
A Creature of amphibious nature,
On Land a Beast, a Fish in Water,
That always preys on Grace, or Sin;
A Sheep without, a Wolf within.
This fierce Inquisitor has chief
Dominion over Mens Belief
And Manners: Can pronounce a Saint
Idolatrous, or ignorant,
When superciliously he sifts,
Through coursest Boulter, others gifts .
For all Men live and judge amiss
Whose Talents jump not just with his.
He'll lay on Gifts with hands, and place
On dullest noddle light and grace ,
The manufacture of the Kirk ,
Whose Pastors are but th' Handiwork
Of his Mechanick Paws, instilling
Divinity in them by feeling.
From whence they start up chosen Vessels ,
Made by Contact, as Men get Meazles .