Classic Poem

The Rolling Stone and the Turning Worm
And the Cat that Looked at a King
Set forth on the Road that Leads to Rome —
For Youth will have its Fling,
The Goose will lay the Golden Eggs,
The Dog must have his Day,
And Nobody locks the Stable Door
Till the Horse is stol'n away.

But the Rolling Stone, that was never known
To Look before the Leap
Plunged down the hill to the Waters Still
That run so dark, so deep;
And the leaves were stirred by the Early Bird
Who sought his breakfast where
He marked the squirm of the Turning Worm —
And the Cat was Killed by Care!

It was a Gallant blithe and gay
That walked the City Street;
The Street, ywot, was hight " Broadway, "
The Gallant, " Master William Gray. "
He sought an Inn, yclept " Cafe, "
Because he wished to eat.

He swung the Door with mickle Joy
And entered in thereat,
When came a Little Blackguard Boy
With Buttons all of Brass Alloy,
Which, much to Master Gray's Annoy,
Essayed to Check his Hat.

The pretty Hat! 'twas made of Fur,
It bore a Ribband Bow;
'Twas soft and smooth as Miniver;
That gentle Hat it seemed to purr;
And Master Gray with strong Demur
Refused to let it go.

" Thou shalt not have the Hat, pardee!
That rests upon my Brow;
A Hat it is of High Degree,
I've worn it both by Land and Sea,
And in its Youth it sheltered me,
And I'll protect it now! "

Yet strove that Boy with Might and Main
And showed a Screed of Rules
Where " Check your Hat! " was written plain
And eke, " All Guests must drink Champagne. "
Quoth Master Gray in High Disdain,
" Such Laws are made for Fools! "

" Thou'dst check my Hat, forsooth? — I know
Right well the " why" and " whence"! —
That when I boun myself to go
Thou'dst brush it hard, mon beau chapeau ,
And smirk, and smile, and lout full low
To cozen me of Pence! "

But now the Host a strong Array
Of Waiters mustered there,
Which muttered, " Lout! " and " Country Jay! "
" Where wouldst thou hang thy Hat? " scoffed they.
Replied this Gallant, blithe and gay,
" I' faith, beneath my Chair! "

They called the Watch with lusty Shout:
The City Watch renowned,
With Fire-lads, a sturdy Rout,
And Train-bands, too, came bustling out,
And all to tame the Stubborn Lout
Which sternly held his Ground.

" Give up the Hat, " now swelled the Cry,
" As it is meet ye should! "
Whereto this Gallant made Reply,
" Come One, come All, this Hat shall fly
From its firm Base as soon as I! "
And there the Matter stood

Until Our People, Arms in Hand,
Uprose! Their wild Debates
And Tumults moved our Statesmen bland
To change the Code which rules the Land —
The Constitution great and Grand
Of These United States!

They framed a Law, those Statesmen good,
In Congress as they sat:
" Hereafter be it understood
That None that seeks an Inn for Food
Need Check his Headpiece, Cap, or Hood,
Which is to say, his Hat. "

Then chant the Praise, with joyous Din,
Of dauntless Master Gray,
Which braved the Terrors of that Inn,
The Hat-boy's Scowl, the Waiters' Grin,
And kept his Hat through Thick and Thin
Upon that Famous Day!