Reflection

The light that spills through the crack in the door
Illumines only her face
And my grandmother smiles
If only all of life was this easy
To only be a child forever
With nothing to care about
And nothing to lose

Every day in the schoolyard
There was kickball
Dodge ball
Hopscotch
Friends were many, we were all the same
And nobody ever cried
When mothers called us home

Be the best, they told us
Second place is never good enough
There is no second chance
Your life is what you make it
Make it better than mine
Make it more
Than you can be, and break your own stars.

The war of nineteen years, is everybody's battle
Survivors win a sheet of paper that says:
You are free; you can go;
Get away; run
And we lose everything you've ever made
Temporary friends
Provisional lives

And there were so many choices
And I didn't know what foot
To start on
And what foot would follow
And where the paths
Would
Lead me

I always had a dream
What if it never happens?
What if I never find
Me
Within my frantic
Ramblings along
The way

There would be no world left
If I never fell in love
What if I never
Get the chance to see
Them
And love them
And love me

Why do those kisses
Always seem so
Staccato
So ceaseless
And so
Very
Complete

Maybe sometime
I will have a child
Though it is not what
I would call a good time
To shove a watermelon
Through a
Straw

So many things to do
And there is never enough time
And every breath I take is closer
To the final draw
So many places
To leave
My proof of life

What I need?
Security
I can not
Be in wanting
In lacking
In greed
Or lust

I need to give everything I have
To them
My family
My parts of me
It would kill me to not be there
To see them live
The way I have yet to live

I am afraid of change
Everything I do I
Do the same
Every day
Is only
A mirror
Of the last

And every day
As I grow I learn
A little more about myself
And I know I need
More than myself
I must not
Be alone

I never want to be
Unable to be me
My child is still there
Somewhere down inside
If only
I was me
One last time

The light that spills through the crack in the door
Illumines only her face
If only all of life were this easy
Someday she will know
And I smile
At my beautiful granddaughter
Fulfilled


Submitted by Chris Adams

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