Oh ! worse than death itself the keen remorse
Of an accusing conscience! Oh! how black
The deed that dooms me to this dismal cell!
These clanking chains, the only sounds that break
The awful stillness of my drear abode;
These iron-grated windows scarce admit
Sufficient rays my darkness to illume.
I was of gentle blood — the only son
Of doting parents; tenderly beloved,
My every wish to gratify they strove.
I roamed at will where fancy's dictates led,
And drank of pleasure's cup without restraint.
I had a haughty spirit; and in vain
To curb it did my gentle mother try.
But I did scorn reproof; and with curled lip
And sullen brow, would from her presence rush,
And, in ungovernable rage, give vent
To words it chills my very blood to speak.
Then came the voice of conscience to my heart;
And for a while my better feelings rose,
And half I would resolve to throw myself
Upon my mother's neck, my fault confess,
In penitence sincere her pardon crave;
But my proud heart would never bend to this.
One morn a hasty summons I received
My mother to attend without delay.
I to her room repaired — she caught my hand,
And in a tone scarce audible, she said: —
Oh! Edward, I am dying! fare-thee-well!
One kiss before we part! — I heard no more —
My brain grew giddy, and insensible
I sank, and to my chamber was conveyed.
Days passed ere from that horrid dream I woke; —
And when again to consciousness restored,
They told me that my mother was no more; —
And I, her fell destroyer, yet survived.
Such was my grief, I would have blessed the hand
Stretched out against me to deprive of life.
Thus time wore on; my nineteenth summer came:
A lovely girl had my affections won;
So mild, so innocent, I sometimes thought
Myself unworthy of a heart like hers.
My wayward spirit she alone could sway; —
I yielded to her gentle influence,
And I was happy then. I thought that life
Had yet a tie to bind me to the world.
One lovely eve I sought Eudora's bower —
The crescent moon rode through a cloudless sky,
And smiled serenely o'er the sleeping earth.
I had been absent long, and now my heart
Beat high at thought of meeting her I loved.
I saw her graceful figure lightly move,
And by her side was one upon whose face
Her blue eye rested, while a timid blush
Mantled her cheek; as on his arm she leaned
Deep conversation they appeared to hold.
At once the flame of jealousy was roused.
Stung to the quick and maddened to despair,
I vowed revenge on her who thus had dared
To pay my love with such inconstancy.
With slow and cautious step did I proceed
Towards the poor victim of my ill-timed wrath.
I could endure no more — " Die! " I exclaimed —
And springing like a tiger on his prey,
My poniard seized, and plunged it in her breast.
One loud and piercing shriek — and at my feet
Ghastly and pale, a bleeding corpse she lay.
" Villain! it is my sister thou hast slain! "
The frantic youth in agony exclaimed.
" My sister and young Edward's promised bride.
Would he were here to slay thee on the spot! " —
" He is before thee! yes, 'tis Edward's hand
That's dyed with blood of guiltless innocence.
Unsheathe thy sword — on me thy vengeance wreak —
To thee my breast lies open — strike the blow —
Or I will do the horrid deed myself. "
" Stay — stay thy hand, for thou art ill prepared
To meet thy Judge and hear thy awful doom.
I do forgive thee — murderer though thou art,
And oh! may Heaven in mercy pardon thee!
This night I to my childhood's home returned.
A traveller from Italia's distant clime;
And with my sister to her bower I strayed
To speak of old familiar scenes awhile.
And there from her I learned your plighted love,
And that to-morrow was your bridal day. "
" To-morrow! Oh, to-morrow! " I exclaimed —
" Would that these eyes might never see its dawn! "
" Edward! though I forgive, my country's laws
Demand that thou to justice shouldst be brought.
Thy sentence will be death — but promise now
By the cold corpse of her once dear to thee,
That thou wilt for eternity prepare. "
I shuddered while the promise passed my lips,
And to this gloomy dungeon I was borne,
And soon my awful destiny was sealed.
Oh, my Eudora! would thy spirit deign
To me a visit at this solemn hour!
Wouldst thou but smile forgiveness on me now,
Oh! I could ask no more. She comes! she comes!
Angel of mercy! messenger of peace!
Thou speak'st my pardon — I may be forgiven.
Of an accusing conscience! Oh! how black
The deed that dooms me to this dismal cell!
These clanking chains, the only sounds that break
The awful stillness of my drear abode;
These iron-grated windows scarce admit
Sufficient rays my darkness to illume.
I was of gentle blood — the only son
Of doting parents; tenderly beloved,
My every wish to gratify they strove.
I roamed at will where fancy's dictates led,
And drank of pleasure's cup without restraint.
I had a haughty spirit; and in vain
To curb it did my gentle mother try.
But I did scorn reproof; and with curled lip
And sullen brow, would from her presence rush,
And, in ungovernable rage, give vent
To words it chills my very blood to speak.
Then came the voice of conscience to my heart;
And for a while my better feelings rose,
And half I would resolve to throw myself
Upon my mother's neck, my fault confess,
In penitence sincere her pardon crave;
But my proud heart would never bend to this.
One morn a hasty summons I received
My mother to attend without delay.
I to her room repaired — she caught my hand,
And in a tone scarce audible, she said: —
Oh! Edward, I am dying! fare-thee-well!
One kiss before we part! — I heard no more —
My brain grew giddy, and insensible
I sank, and to my chamber was conveyed.
Days passed ere from that horrid dream I woke; —
And when again to consciousness restored,
They told me that my mother was no more; —
And I, her fell destroyer, yet survived.
Such was my grief, I would have blessed the hand
Stretched out against me to deprive of life.
Thus time wore on; my nineteenth summer came:
A lovely girl had my affections won;
So mild, so innocent, I sometimes thought
Myself unworthy of a heart like hers.
My wayward spirit she alone could sway; —
I yielded to her gentle influence,
And I was happy then. I thought that life
Had yet a tie to bind me to the world.
One lovely eve I sought Eudora's bower —
The crescent moon rode through a cloudless sky,
And smiled serenely o'er the sleeping earth.
I had been absent long, and now my heart
Beat high at thought of meeting her I loved.
I saw her graceful figure lightly move,
And by her side was one upon whose face
Her blue eye rested, while a timid blush
Mantled her cheek; as on his arm she leaned
Deep conversation they appeared to hold.
At once the flame of jealousy was roused.
Stung to the quick and maddened to despair,
I vowed revenge on her who thus had dared
To pay my love with such inconstancy.
With slow and cautious step did I proceed
Towards the poor victim of my ill-timed wrath.
I could endure no more — " Die! " I exclaimed —
And springing like a tiger on his prey,
My poniard seized, and plunged it in her breast.
One loud and piercing shriek — and at my feet
Ghastly and pale, a bleeding corpse she lay.
" Villain! it is my sister thou hast slain! "
The frantic youth in agony exclaimed.
" My sister and young Edward's promised bride.
Would he were here to slay thee on the spot! " —
" He is before thee! yes, 'tis Edward's hand
That's dyed with blood of guiltless innocence.
Unsheathe thy sword — on me thy vengeance wreak —
To thee my breast lies open — strike the blow —
Or I will do the horrid deed myself. "
" Stay — stay thy hand, for thou art ill prepared
To meet thy Judge and hear thy awful doom.
I do forgive thee — murderer though thou art,
And oh! may Heaven in mercy pardon thee!
This night I to my childhood's home returned.
A traveller from Italia's distant clime;
And with my sister to her bower I strayed
To speak of old familiar scenes awhile.
And there from her I learned your plighted love,
And that to-morrow was your bridal day. "
" To-morrow! Oh, to-morrow! " I exclaimed —
" Would that these eyes might never see its dawn! "
" Edward! though I forgive, my country's laws
Demand that thou to justice shouldst be brought.
Thy sentence will be death — but promise now
By the cold corpse of her once dear to thee,
That thou wilt for eternity prepare. "
I shuddered while the promise passed my lips,
And to this gloomy dungeon I was borne,
And soon my awful destiny was sealed.
Oh, my Eudora! would thy spirit deign
To me a visit at this solemn hour!
Wouldst thou but smile forgiveness on me now,
Oh! I could ask no more. She comes! she comes!
Angel of mercy! messenger of peace!
Thou speak'st my pardon — I may be forgiven.