Classic Poem

On me then Sir, as on a friend,
You say your interests now depend;
And may you be no longer mine
When your least service I decline.
But though my will is all on fire
To compass that which you desire,
Success from others must proceed;
Towards which observe my restless speed.
Your note received, down stairs I fly,
My gown unpinned, my hood awry,
With Mrs Mary at my heels.
Who as she this disaster feels,
Here gives a twitch, there aims a pin,
But cannot reach to fix it in—
Yet does with lengthened strides approach
And throws my ruffles in the coach,
I finishing as best I can.
Now draw my gloves and then my fan,
As Jehu scours along the streets
And swears at every thing he meets,
Till to his Lordship's door he comes;
Who spies me through a suite of rooms,
And forward moves with courtly pace—
Till, noting my requesting face,
He puts on a refusing air
And bids his footman call a chair.
Then draws his watch—'tis two and past,
“You find me in prodigious haste,”
He cries as he on tiptoe stands,
“Yet, Madam, what are your commands?
I'll serve you to my utmost power—
The Houses have been met this hour—
Shall I conduct you to my wife?
I have no interest, on my life.
I'm ruined if I come too late—
We're like to have a warm debate—
I promised Solon to attend.”
“'Tis he, my lord, must help my friend,”
I barely hint as he goes on;
Who, “Madam,” cries, “it can't be done.
Your humble servant you forgive—
You see in what a round we live,
From morning hurried thus till night.
Madam, I hope you take me right.
When I've a moment to dispose,
I'll come and hear what you propose.
Make haste, you blockheads!”—Up they weigh
My lord, and to the House convey.
Whilst in the parlour I remain,
O'ercome with sorrow and disdain.
Yet with a Roman virtue scorn
The Lord depraved where I was born
Where men, now wealthy grown and great,
En bagatelle our suffering treat—
Yet still I will your cause pursue.
The unrighteous judge, the hardened Jew
As soon might be at rest as I
Will leave them till they all comply
Or if no good from thence I draw
They still are Jews without the law.