Shell-Shocked
The grey eyes drifted out toward dreams —
His hand in mine gripped till my own was white,
A long, tense silence — then
He spoke,
" Yes, Mother, you're the girl I love too well to stay.
I'd only be a rotten care on you.
I'll write you, sure I will!
Now let me go.
I don't care if I live or die to-day.
Why, over on Fourth Avenue just now,
I all but lost my game foot by a car —
" What t' hell do you mean? Blow your old horn! " says I,
" Where was you, any way, when I was over there, in hell,
Savin' your job for you? "
The Cop held up his hand.
Traffic stood still — for me, it had to!
Say, but I had to laugh to see 'em wait for me!
Some Movie Close-up that!
Say, where's the girl who let me hold her hand
Last night? Gee! but I was in pain!
I am most all the time — I'm used to it.
You're all I've got —
But even you ain't real, you know,
I call you Mother, but I ain't your son,
I absolutely ain't.
Me? I'm a wild one, Mother, let me go!
Six months, the Doctor said.
Well, I've had mine —
A lot more too, than most —
Shell-shocked, gassed and buried — look!
That sounds like holy writ — me, holy! Gee —
And submarined for luck,
Twice to the bottom, but I couldn't drown,
Just simply couldn't dear, because I didn't care.
The girlies always get me, or the drink —
Nails in my coffin, every glass I take —
And each small Lucky Strike I smoke,
They tell me now.
" Well, gold nails, then, " I'll say. I only use the best —
That's why I wish I was your son.
Don't cry, dear Mother-mine, don't cry!
I'll stay — I absolutely will.
I promise you.
We'll go right on pretending we belong.
You never had no son but me, you said —
You are a game one too!
Come, cry it out together, dear —
Laugh now! That's it! Smile — and I'll stay —
But this can't go on so, forever —
Dearest Mother mine,
I'm shell-shocked, shot to pieces —
Better let me go!"
His hand in mine gripped till my own was white,
A long, tense silence — then
He spoke,
" Yes, Mother, you're the girl I love too well to stay.
I'd only be a rotten care on you.
I'll write you, sure I will!
Now let me go.
I don't care if I live or die to-day.
Why, over on Fourth Avenue just now,
I all but lost my game foot by a car —
" What t' hell do you mean? Blow your old horn! " says I,
" Where was you, any way, when I was over there, in hell,
Savin' your job for you? "
The Cop held up his hand.
Traffic stood still — for me, it had to!
Say, but I had to laugh to see 'em wait for me!
Some Movie Close-up that!
Say, where's the girl who let me hold her hand
Last night? Gee! but I was in pain!
I am most all the time — I'm used to it.
You're all I've got —
But even you ain't real, you know,
I call you Mother, but I ain't your son,
I absolutely ain't.
Me? I'm a wild one, Mother, let me go!
Six months, the Doctor said.
Well, I've had mine —
A lot more too, than most —
Shell-shocked, gassed and buried — look!
That sounds like holy writ — me, holy! Gee —
And submarined for luck,
Twice to the bottom, but I couldn't drown,
Just simply couldn't dear, because I didn't care.
The girlies always get me, or the drink —
Nails in my coffin, every glass I take —
And each small Lucky Strike I smoke,
They tell me now.
" Well, gold nails, then, " I'll say. I only use the best —
That's why I wish I was your son.
Don't cry, dear Mother-mine, don't cry!
I'll stay — I absolutely will.
I promise you.
We'll go right on pretending we belong.
You never had no son but me, you said —
You are a game one too!
Come, cry it out together, dear —
Laugh now! That's it! Smile — and I'll stay —
But this can't go on so, forever —
Dearest Mother mine,
I'm shell-shocked, shot to pieces —
Better let me go!"
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