Classic Poem

Chorus . " Old man it much concerns you to confute
" Your son, whose confidence appears to suit
" With a just cause; how happen'd this dispute?
STREPSIADES . I shall relate it from the first; as soon
As we had din'd, I took a lute and bid him
Sing the sheep-shearing of Simonides ,
He told me 'twas an old and ugly fashion
To sing at dinner like a millers wife.
PHIDIPPIDES . And was not this sufficient to deserve
A beating; when you'd make men chirp like Grasse-hoppers?
STREPS . Just so he said within; and added that
Simonides was an unpleasant Poet.
I must confesse I hardly could forbear him;
But then I bid him take a Myrtle branch
And act some piece of Æschylus , that Æschylus
Saith he, is of all Poets the absurdest,
The harshest, most disorderly and bumbast.
Did not my heart pant at this language think you?
Yet I represt it; Then said I, rehearse
A learned speech out of some modern wit;
He strait repeats out of Euripides
A tedious long Oration, how the Brother
(Good Heavens) did violate the sisters bed.
Here I confesse I could contain no longer
But chid him sharply; to dispute we went,
Words upon words, till he at last to blowes,
To strike, to pull, to tear me.
PHID . And not justly?
You that would discommend Euripides ,
The wisest of all Poets.
STREPS . Wisest? ah
What did I say, I shall be beat agen.
PHID . By Jove , and you deserve 't.
STREPS . How, deserve it?
Ungrateful wretch, have I not brought thee up,
Fed and maintain'd thee from a little one,
Supplied thy wants? how then can I deserve it?
CHOR . " Now I believe each youthfull breast
" With expectation possest,
" That if the glory of the day
" Be from the Plantiffe born away,
" By this example they may all
" Upon the old men heavy fall;
" What you have done with utmost art,
" To justifie is now your part.
PHID . How sweet it is to study, sage new things;
And to contemn all fundamental lawes!
When I applied my mind to Horse-coursing
I could not speak three words but I was out;
Now since I gave it ore, I am acquainted
With ponderous sentences and subtle reasons,
Able to prove I ought to beat my Father.
STREPS . Nay, follow racing still, for I had rather
Maintain thy horses then be beaten thus.
PHID . I will begin where you did interrupt me,
And first will ask, did you not beat me when
I was a child?
STREPS . But that was out of love.
PHID . 'Tis very right, tell me then, ought not I
To recompence your love with equall love;
If to be beaten be to be belov'd,
Why should I suffer stripes, and you have none?