Classic Poem

Chris'mus is comin'! Let 'er come!
I've jined the Mission Band
What sends out clo'es an' grub an' things
To ev'ry heathen land.
I loves them little heathen kids
So sunk in sin an' wrong,
An' I have jined the Mission Band
To help them kids along.
Ya-as, I have jined the Mission Band,
It's jest the thing for me, —
For all who jine, nex' Chris'mus time,
Will git a present. See?

Them heathen kids is low-down mugs,
They lies an' swears an' fights,
An' crawls into a hole, like bears,
To go to bed at nights.
I wants to help them kids along,
To better livin' win 'em.
An' I'm perpared to smash the bloke
That says a thing ag'in 'em.
I love them heathen kids, I does,
I've jined the Mission Band,
An' I will git a present. Gee!
Nex' Chris'mus. Understand?

Them heathen kids is wickud things,
An' growin' wuss an' wuss.
I wants to make 'em noble. See?
An' sweet an' good, like us.
I wants to make the gang bang-up,
Jest like us kids is here,
An' elervate the hull blame crowd
'Way up to our idear;
An' so I've jined the Mission Band,
Me an' me brudder John,
We'll git a present Chris'mus time —
You tumble? Are ye on?

I loves them little heathen kids,
An' though they're mighty tough,
We're goin' to elervate the scamps,
An' this 'ere ain't no bluff.
We means to make them heathen kids
As good as Buck Magee,
As Swipesey Dugan, Slugger Sam,
Or Guff Malone or me.
An' so we've jined the Mission Band,
Me an' me brudder John,
We'll git a present, Chris'mus time —
You tumble? Are ye on?