Classic Poem

The Sultan was vexed by a dream
that invaded his slumbers;
(He'd feasted on lobsters and cream
with half-ripened cucumbers
And slept with his head to the South,
so the Night Mare had power.)
He dreamed, all the teeth of his mouth
tumbled out in a shower!
So, calling a Sayer of Sooth
to interpret the vision,
He charged him to utter the truth
With the utmost precision.

" Pure Fountain of Justice, and Fear
of the Infidel Foemen,
The vision, " propounded the Seer,
" is of sorrowful omen;
For Allah, who governs this ball
(His protection be o'er you!),
Decrees that your relatives all
shall drop dead, right before you! "

The Sultan leaped up in a fit
of devouring fury!
He stayed not to issue a writ
or impanel a jury,
But — " Shorten this fellow! " he said,
" and be rapid about it! "
So off went the Soothsayer's head!
(He looked better without it.)

One Sage being worthless, they sent
to the mosque for another; —
An Augur of wilier bent
than his ill-fortuned brother.
" Now Allah be praised for the boon! "
Cried this wisest of mages;
" Great Lord of the Sun and the Moon!
for the vision presages
Long life to the King, who shall thrive
like the fertile plantations!
Yea, truly! my Liege shall survive
e'en his youngest relations! "

The King, as his visage expressed,
was rejoiced beyond measure.
The Prophet went home with a chest
fairly bursting with treasure.
Which proves — 'tis an axiom still,
let the Blunt-spoken weigh it —
The Tactful can say what he will,
for he knows how to say it!