Classic Poem

While strolling through the hills one day,
In search of joy and laughter.
Tannhauser, in his travels, came
Upon a flat run by a dame
Who said that Venus was her name;
At least so he said after.
Tannhauser said, " I like it here.
I think I'll stick around a year. "

Tannhauser liked the place a lot;
He thought the girls entrancing,
And Venus entertained him so
He quite forgot he had to go.
They even ran a burlesque show,
With lots of songs and dancing.
(They pulled a dance of nymphs and satyrs
That wouldn't do in most theaytres.)

I can't tell all the things they did
(The censor would delete it)
Until our hero said, " I hate
To go so soon. It's getting late,
I quite forgot I have a date;
I guess I gotta beat it.
I've had a lovely time, old wren. "
And Venus said, " Call soon again. "

Tannhauser had a girl named Bess,
Her old man ran a glee club.
Our hero, passing by the place
That afternoon, came face to face
With Pa, returning from the chase,
Who said, " Come, visit the club.
We're running off a singing fest.
He weds my girl who sings the best. "

A baritone named Wolfram
Started off the show quite gayly.
Tann looked at Bess and chuckled low,
" This Wolfram guy don't stand no show.
He couldn't book with Marcus Loew. "
And tuned his ukelele.
" This lieder stuff don't make a hit,
I think I'll jazz it up a bit. "

He bowed politely to the gang.
The following's the song he sang:
" These Wartburg janes don't go with me,
Gimme a kid with pep.
I know one that has it,
She knows how to jazz it,
Venus is the baby that can teach 'em how to step.
So strike up a tune on the old trombone.
Play that haunting solo on the saxaphone,
Put your arms around her waist and kick up your shoes,
Dancing with your Venus,
Prancing with your Venus,
Doing those Venusberg Blues. "

The Wartburg boys got sore as pups,
And said, " Who let that guy in?
He sure has got a lot of gall
To pull that stuff around this hall.
Let's throw him off the castle wall,
Or punch his blooming eye in. "
But Bess said, " No, boys, let it pass.
The lad ain't used to mix with class. "

Tannhauser, feeling quite put out,
To go to Rome decided.
Returning in a year or less
He said, " I think I'll call on Bess
And square myself with her. I guess
No gent would act like I did. "
But Bess's grief has made her croak.
That girl could never take a joke.

Tannhauser said, " Well, that ends that.
Since all is o'er between us
This Wartburg joint is far from gay,
I'm lonesome for the Great White Way,
I think I'll call this day a day
And telephone to Venus.
That little French kid was a bear;
I wonder if that blonde's still there. "

A band of pilgrims passing by,
Returning from an outing,
Said, " Listen, bo, don't give up hope;
We've been to Rome to see the Pope,
We're handing you the latest dope:
His staff has started sprouting. "
Tannhauser said, " Oh, is that so! "
And died. I think it's some fool show.