Translation of a Letter, in Oriental Characters

IN ORIENTAL CHARACTERS ,

FROM BAWBA-DARA-ADUL-PHOOLA,

DRAGOMAN TO THE EXPEDITIONS ,

TO NEEK-AWL-ARETCHID-KOOEZ,

SECRETARY TO THE TUNISIAN EMBASSY .

Dear Neek-Awl,

Y OU'LL rejoice, that at length I am able
To date these few lines from the Captain's own table.
Mr. Truman himself, of his proper suggestion,
Has, in favour of science, decided the question:
So we walk the main-deck, and are mess'd with the Captain;
I leave you to judge of the joy we are wrapt in.

At Spithead they embark'd us; how precious a cargo!
And we sail'd before day, to escape the embargo.
There was Sh — b — h, the wonderful mathematician;
And D — rw — n, the poet, the sage, and physician;
There was B — dd — s, and Bru — n, and G — dw — n, whose trust is,
He may part with his work on Political Justice
To some Iman or Bonze, or Judaical Rabbin;
So with huge quarto volumes he piles up the cabin.
There was great Doctor P — r, whom we style Bellendenus;
The Doctor and I have a hammock between us.
'Tis a little unpleasant thus crowding together,
On account of the motion, and heat of the weather;
Two souls in one birth they oblige us to cram,
And Sir John will insist on a place for his ram.
Though the Doctor, I find, is determined to think
'Tis the animal's hide that occasions the stink,
In spite of the experienced opinion of Truman,
Who contends that the scent is exclusively human.
But B — dd — s and D — rw — n engage to repair
This slight inconvenience with oxygene air .

Whither bound? (you will ask) 'tis a question, my friend,
On which I long doubted; my doubt's at an end.
To Arabia the Stony, Sabaea the Gummy,
To the land where each man that you meet is a mummy;
To the mouths of the Nile, to the banks of Araxes,
To the Red , and the Yellow , the White , and the Black seas,
With telescopes, globes, and a quadrant, and sextant,
And the works of all authors, whose writings are extant;
With surveys and plans, topographical maps,
Theodolites, watches, spring-guns, and steel-traps,
Phials, crucibles, air-pumps, electric machinery,
And pencils for painting the natives and scenery.
In short, we are sent to oppose all we know,
To the knowledge and mischievous arts of the foe;
Who, though placing in arms a well-grounded reliance,
Go to war with a flying artillery of science.

The French Savans , it seems, recommended this measure,
With a view to replenish the national treasure.
First, the true Rights of Man they will preach in all places,
But chief (when 'tis found) in the Egyptian Oasis:
And this doctrine, 'tis hoped, in a very few weeks
Will persuade the wild Arabs to murder their Cheiks;
And, to aid the Great Nation's beneficent plans,
Plunder pyramids, catacombs, towns, caravans,
Then inlist under Arcole's gallant Commander,
Who will conquer the world like his model Iskander.
His army each day growing bolder and finer,
With the Turcoman tribes he subdues Asia Minor,
Beats Paul and his Scythians, his journey pursues
Cross the Indus, with tribes of Armenians, and Jews,
And Bucharians, and Affghans, and Persians, and Tartars, —
Chokes the wretched Mogul in his Grandmother's garters,
And will hang him to dry in the Luxemburg Hall,
'Midst the plunder of Carthage, and spoils of Bengal.

Such, we hear, was the plan: but I trust, if we meet em,
That, Savant to Savant ; our Cargo will beat 'em.
Our plan of proceeding, I'll presently tell: —
But soft — I am call'd — I must bid you farewell. —
To attend on our Savans my pen I resign —
For, it seems, that they duck them on crossing the Line.
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